The Plastic Hippo

September 23, 2016

Banana split


You might be forgiven for thinking that after 116 years of banging on about how unity is strength; the Labour Party might just have grasped something approaching an understanding of what unity actually is. Now with more than 500,000 members, the Labour Party resembles the universe at about a nanosecond after the Big Bang. There are slightly less than 500,000 bits and pieces moving at slightly less than the speed of light in just about 500,000 different directions. Unity, in Labour`s case, is the strength of a black hole pulling everything towards oblivion.

With the votes now cast in yet another leadership election, we can hopefully enjoy at least 24 hours of much needed silence from Labour Party grandees both past and present. Mercifully, the fortunes of a television baking programme has distracted the attention of a puerile press for a few hours but we can rest assured that the grandees and hacks will be back with the capacity for venom and falsehood redoubled. Given the complete and utter farce that the Labour Party has allowed itself to become, there is little wonder that an already hostile media should rip into this woeful state of affairs.

To an independent and neutral observer, this melt-down might at first glance appear amusing if not downright hilarious as self-important and rather pompous democratic socialists go at each others` throats in an attempt to redefine and claim ownership of both democracy and socialism. With dark talk of plotters and purges, one faction bleats about “alien parasites” and the other shrieks about “Blairite Stalinists”. On one level all this is funnier than Monty Python but in real life this behaviour coming from a political party that has the responsibility of opposition is as terrifying as a Trump presidency, the ongoing obscenity of Bashar al-Assad or the absence from a woman in her 80s offering cake related risqué innuendos on our television screens.

In the time it takes from one Autumn Equinox to another, Jeremy Corbyn has gone from obscure leftie backbencher to the leader of a demonic cult hell bent on destroying the very fabric of society by suggesting that everyone in that society should be treated fairly and equally. This evil Marxist hypocrite even taunts the brilliant and completely impartial UK media camped outside his palatial terraced house just off the Seven Sisters Road in Finsbury Park with shouts of “good morning” knowing full well that the unfortunate people of Tolpuddle were suffering a light drizzle at the very same moment. Slyly cycling the three or four miles to work at the House of Commons he manages to outpace the following press pack unfairly confined within the company Range Rover and nervous of the Inner London congestion charge.

Corbyn has repeatedly voted against his party whip on such trivial matters as bombing civilians, welfare reform and war and has displayed great disloyalty to paragons of virtue like Tony Blair and control freaks like Gordon Brown. By looking like a retired geography teacher and by shamelessly sticking to socialist principles, Jeremy Corbyn is both dangerous and unelectable and should therefore be simultaneously feared and ignored. Well…almost. He should be feared and ignored if you happen to enjoy membership of the Parliamentary Labour Party but if you are young and working class and absolutely horrified at what a Conservative government is getting away with, then perhaps an avuncular Dad dancing honest man might just get your vote. That is, if you haven`t been purged from voting based on stuff you have tweeted or because you are young and therefore stupid.

Now that the voting for a new Labour leader has closed and we have to wait until Saturday for the result, it seems that the Labour Party has learnt nothing from the electoral defeat in 2010 and the endless pantomime to appoint the rather odd Ed Miliband which allowed Cameron, supported by Clegg, to inflict damage that will endure for generations. This time, Labour have done it again only much, much worse allowing St Theresa of the Albion Grammar to do whatever the bloody hell she wants to do. All MPs, not just Labour MPs, need to be reminded that they represent all their constituents and not just members of the party they represent. After all, the UK with all its marvellous achievements could never be judged as a banana republic.

Without an opposition, however, resistance is futile.

1 Comment »

  1. I suppose I’m moderately Corbynite. I like the bloke, almost as much as I like McDonnell, whom I know, but could be “detached” if he was given a fair chance and proved useless. Trouble is, I don’t think some of his parliamentary colleagues were prepared to give him a fair chance. I was incensed by the timing of the no confidence vote – just after the referendum. I heard about the vote on the early evening news, just before going off to a church meeting, where the spike in hate crimes was reported. This was really a time when the LP needed to get its act together,rather than start a leadership contest.

    Comment by Alan Harrison — September 23, 2016 @ 10:54 am | Reply

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