The Plastic Hippo

October 16, 2016

Sterling Albion

Filed under: Politics,Rights,Society — theplastichippo @ 6:00 am
Tags: , , , , , ,


Samuel Johnson`s assertion that patriotism is this last refuge of a scoundrel only works if the scoundrel is clever enough to manipulate prejudice and ignorance to manufacture a state of false patriotism and, therefore, extreme international danger. Boris Johnson`s assertion that any hope of a negotiated ceasefire in Syria has “run out of road” meaning that “more kinetic options” – including military intervention – need to be considered, look and sound like the posturing of a scoundrel. Doctor Johnson went on to say that “prejudice does not have reasonable grounds, so you cannot deny them with rational arguments.” Mark Twain, however, hit the nail on the head when he described a patriot as “the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.”

The latest government of the United Kingdom has taken a remarkable trajectory since the referendum vote on June 23rd. The sheer incompetence and duplicity of David Cameron and George Osborne are now but a fading if still unpleasant memory and the six years of unnecessary and ideologically imposed austerity which caused debt and deficit to increase along with child poverty and food bank demand, turn out to be six years of misery for everyone else apart from the already wealthy. Now mercifully replaced by May and Hammond, the incompetence and duplicity has given way to an inert vacuum of a post referendum world without any semblance of a clue as to what actually needs doing and as a result the nation yearns for a return to more stable times of incompetence and duplicity. The current government are beyond incompetence or even the ability to tell an even half believable lie.

With Sterling falling through the floor to an unprecedented base level, the pound is expected to be worth exactly the same as the dollar and the euro by the end of the next financial year. Perfidious Albion under the governance of Theresa May has lost the confidence of the rest of the world and, more importantly, lost the confidence of something called “the free market” which, as every crook, shyster and entrepreneur will tell you, is the one true form of political and financial control. There is little wonder that Scotland, represented by the formidable Nicola Sturgeon, is targeting a second Scottish Independence Referendum to firstly protect Scotland and secondly to distance Scotland from the madness unfolding in Westminster.

Sterling crashing might be bad news for the insignificant unwashed wishing to buy food, pay off a mortgage, drive a car, educate their children, care for their parents in old age, expect medical treatment when suffering illness or happily pay income tax to provide for the welfare of every citizen currently allowed to remain in the state of Albion but it is absolutely brilliant news for share holders in multi-national companies. A collapse in Sterling is the very best news for greedy bastards wishing to maximise profits and scream about British patriotism. Even British MEPs hollering for an end to the European Union now happily find that because they are paid in Euros, they are making an absolute fortune out of the UK`s announcement that we, at some undesignated point in time, will be leaving the single market.

It would appear that the “free market”, whoever they may be in the United Kingdom, are evacuating boulders the size of Maastricht from their nether regions at the claim from Theresa May that “Brexit means Brexit”. Excuse my German but what the “fick” does “Brexit” actually mean. It is not even a recognisable word, phrase or idiom. The current Prime Minister seems determined to prove herself to be a bigger idiot than her predecessor. In that endeavour, she has undoubtedly succeeded.

With Sterling in a place that even the most sentient of higher apes would consider as being disastrous, the ruin that is about to befall us goes beyond the definition of patriotism. When Tesco and Unilever decide to have a play fight over the price of Marmite, Pot Noodle and washing powder, we can rest assured that sales of Marmite, Pot Noodle and washing powder will go through the roof which, incidentally, is the complete opposite direction from the direction that Sterling is travelling at the moment. Supermarkets and supply chains are much smarter than governments when it comes to basic economics. Patriotism is defined by how many Italian, Indian and Chinese ready meals you can shift during any given financial quarter.

A clueless government without any idea of a negotiating stance clings desperately to the notion of a democratic mandate to end a European Union. Some on the “leave” side of the debate talk of the “will of the people” and an “overwhelming mandate” to return to a sovereign United Kingdom. Those that voted against leaving the EU are described as a “liberal elite” and in a remarkable linguistic invention as “remoaners”. It would appear that 48 per cent of those who bothered to vote to stay within the European Community are part of an unpatriotic liberal elite intent on destroying the sovereignty of the House of Commons. Interestingly, the sovereignty of the House of Commons which for so many years has been undermined by legislature coming out of the European Union, will not be allowed to vote in favour of returning sovereignty to the House of Commons. In other words, parliament will have no say in leaving the EU. If this sounds like a dictatorship, then it is quite possible that the right wing of the Conservative Party has very cleverly used a narrow victory in the European Referendum to end democracy and return us all to the serfdom usually expected during the middle ages.

The referendum question was quite simple. It asked:
“Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union or leave the European Union.”

Yes or no…full stop. It did not ask if the UK should remain in the single market or if UK borders should be closed or if Great Britain should be governed by a group of rather odd recidivist weirdoes who think Africa should be pink from the Cape to Cairo. It did not give violent racists reason to attack working men and women and children enjoying the right to an education simply because within the warped mindset of patriotic thugs their targets do not look or sound sufficiently British. It would be entirely wrong to accuse those that voted with very good reasons to leave the EU of narrow minded xenophobia but there is every reason to be very, very frightened at what is going on in this other Eden, this sceptred isle, this precious stone set in the silver sea, this England. Rather than berate those that voted to be a sovereign nation again with a government that denies parliamentary sovereignty, we should offer them the democratic right to change their minds once the facts have been established. Remember when Boris Johnson promise £350million per week for the NHS? Theresa May just announced no further funding for the NHS.

Only an open and intelligent parliamentary process including votes when necessary can possibly sort out the mess that Cameron created and the shambles that Theresa May seems determined to perpetuate. For your information, the Russian aircraft carrier Admiral Kuznetsov and its battle group of support ships are sailing through the English Channel sometime next week heading for the eastern Mediterranean where they intend to bomb women and children in Syria. Expect a couple of carrier-launched Sukhoi S-33s or a brace of MiG 29s to make their way up the Thames on a courtesy visit over the House of Commons just to say hello.

If patriotism should ever equate to simple pragmatism, consider some of the more rogue Gulf States, or Switzerland, or the City of London, or the Cayman Islands, or Sir Philip Green or Sir Richard Branson. Consider also the management, staff, players and supporters of Berwick Rangers.

Berwick-upon-Tweed is a town in the English county of Northumberland. During certain times of history, Berwick was Scottish, then English, then Scottish again but is now firmly part of England. What makes this lovely old town special is that its football and rugby teams play in Scotland and, according to discredited legend; Berwick-upon-Tweed is still at war with Russia.

The practical common sense of Berwick Rangers deserves a Nobel Peace Prize. If Berwick Rangers, as a football club, decided to be English, they would have to fund transport and accommodation to fixtures in the lower English leagues including trips to Exeter and Plymouth. As it stands, a local derby would be a long journey to Carlisle. Berwick is marginally closer to Edinburgh than Newcastle-upon-Tyne and if a second Scottish Independence Referendum should transpire due to a Westminster government being unable to see beyond the M25, Berwick Rangers might have to consider relocating to France…or Syria.

This Saturday, Berwick Rangers travelled to Sterling Albion and thrilled the crowd with a goal less draw. Sterling and old Albion will be pleased to see the back of May and the idiots she has appointed and the rest of us will pray that Margaret returns to the grave where she belongs. Marmite – love it.


  1. Right

    Comment by Rob — October 16, 2016 @ 11:25 am | Reply

  2. As any fule nose, there is no ‘ soft’ or ‘hard’ Brexit. There is only exit. It will be as though a truculent and aggressive youth has been finally thrown out of a nightclub and at last been barred for life.

    The terms of separation are subject to the views of 28 other interested parties plus the most powerful man/woman in the known Universe. That such matters cannot revealed, let alone considered by Parliament simply pisses on any notion of democracy.

    Breaking up is very hard to do at any level, but least one person needs to keep a clear head. So why, in Gods name, appoint Boris Johnson to the Foreign Office? His contributions so far amount to asking people to protest, threatening war in the middle east and … that’s it. Meanwhile, Phil Hammond has partially got to grips with the key economic issues. Having done so, he is shit-scared of the prognosis.

    The 3 stooges dealing with Brexit have failed to comprehend anything except their apparent and transient influence. They are food for worms

    Comment by The Realist — October 17, 2016 @ 1:00 pm | Reply

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