The Plastic Hippo

October 6, 2016

Lady Marmalade



Following the marvellous Conservative Party Conference in Birmingham, it has never been more obvious to any member of the voting public blessed with the ability to clutch a pencil and mark a cross, that Theresa May is the best Prime Minister that this nation has ever seen. We know this to be fact because her press secretary said so and it is her destiny to remain as Prime Minister for a glorious reign of at least a thousand years. We know this to be fact because of the number of votes she gained during the leadership election, the number of young people removed from the electoral role and with a spectacular piece of gerrymandering not seen since Gerry first Mandered, the redefining of constituency boundaries.

Even before the latest product of the Nightmare on Broad Street franchise hit the screens of Birmingham and beyond, the occasional confusion grenade was lobbed at a gullible public in order to distract from the main feature. The return of the grammar school was waved in front of Downing Street cameras as a diversion from the clueless attempts at an early withdrawal from Europe. “Oh you naughty boys,” giggled a coquettish government, “you have discovered my little secret.” (more…)

October 2, 2016

Strong message here


Following the shambolic pantomime describing itself as the Labour Party Conference in Liverpool, it has never been more obvious to any member of the voting public with half a brain that Jeremy Corbyn is completely unelectable. We know this to be fact because our independent media and the Conservative Party and the BBC and about 170 Labour MPs tell us so. They also tell us that he is scruffy, unpatriotic, devious, a liar, a hypocrite, a champagne socialist, a terrorist sympathiser, a cunning mastermind, stupid, evil, disloyal, dogmatic, a danger to national security and would probably urinate on a passing Corgi owned by Her Majesty the Queen.

Obviously, the five right-wing billionaires who own the printed press, the small group of anonymous Tory strategists running the country, the state broadcaster flirting dangerously close to charter compliance and about 170 Labour MPs worried about future employment wish Jeremy Corbyn to be unelectable and are morbidly familiar with having their wishes come true. (more…)

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