The Plastic Hippo

November 17, 2016


Filed under: Law,Politics,Rights — theplastichippo @ 3:00 pm
Tags: , , , , ,
Boris Johnson kissing a fish

Boris Johnson kissing a fish

It would seem that our newly appointed Foreign Secretary equates European trade and unity, international détente, the globalised market and the free movement of people with the sale of Italian prosecco. The sad fact is; the newly appointed Foreign Secretary and the newly appointed Prime Minister are proving themselves to be something of an embarrassment to the United Kingdom and sadly renders us as the laughing stock of the world second only to the United States of America.

Boris Johnson is a complete and utter idiot. He may have a classics degree and can quote Ovid and Heraclitus with the ease of an inbred automaton coached in the language of privilege, but he remains a dangerous liability. His surprising elevation to Foreign Secretary might at first glance seem both bizarre and astonishing but it is, in fact, the nearest thing that Theresa “Baldrick” May has in terms of a cunning plan to remove the UK from the European Union. If anyone is qualified to scupper an exit, then Boris Johnson is the buffoon stupid enough to do the scuppering.

The Prime Minister and her woefully inept government have no plan, no strategy and no idea what to do next. It has been five months since 37.4 per cent of the UK electorate voted overwhelmingly to leave the EU. For those interested in actual statistics rather than the invented guff excreted from government funded propaganda agencies, 34.7 per cent voted to remain in the EU giving a massive suicide mandate of a whopping 2.7 per cent. If you take into account the 27.8 per cent of the electorate who did not vote either through apathy or disgust, 62.5 per cent did not vote to leave (figures are rounded to one decimal place).

Five months of not giving a blow by blow running commentary, keeping our cards close to our chests and not allowing our European enemies to guess our cunning plan will turn into a year, then two years and will slowly fade into a barely remembered minor incident like Hillsborough or Orgreave. After all, it was Theresa May who instigated the CSA Inquiry with terms of reference that primarily guaranteed that it should, above all else, fail.

So now we have Boris Johnson talking gibberish to an Italian economics minister by suggesting that Italy would no longer be able to sell prosecco in the UK unless the UK remained within the single market. Carlo Calenda, a man with an intellect far superior than that of the five-year-old Johnson and a man with a clear grasp of economics responded by saying; “Okay, you`ll sell fish and chips, but I`ll sell less prosecco to one country and you`ll sell less (fish and chips) to 27 countries.” Given the state of the Italian economy, you know you`re in trouble when an Italian economist can wipe the floor with a British Foreign Secretary.

Johnson attracted more ridicule when he offered his limited understanding of history and politics in an interview with a Czech newspaper. With typically cringe worthy bombast, he told Hospodáṙské noviny that freedom of movement was not a founding principle of the Treaty of Rome. He said;
“It`s a total myth, nonsense. It is stupid to say that freedom of movement is a fundamental right. It`s something that has been acquired by a series of decisions by the courts and everyone now has in his head that every human being has a fundamental, God-given right to go and move wherever he wants. But it is not. The idea that freedom of movement is a fundamental right of the EU is just bollocks.”

For the record, the Treaty of Rome was signed in 1957 by Belgium, France, Italy, Luxembourg, the Netherlands and West Germany and established a European Economic Community which, in effect, led to a single market. The UK was not invited to join. A Conservative government under Edward Heath finally managed to join in 1973 and a referendum under Harold Wilson`s Labour government in 1975 decided to stay. Apparently, 17,378,581 people decided to remain and 8,470,073 wanted to leave. The turnout was 64 per cent meaning that 14,553,683 people did not vote either through apathy of disgust resulting in nearly 23 million who did not vote to remain.

Another Conservative Prime Minister, John Major, signed the Maastricht Treaty in 1992 and Labour`s Gordon Brown signed the Lisbon Treaty in 2007. Johnson is correct is shrieking that freedom of movement is not specified in the Treaty of Rome but conveniently omits to bellow that the Treaty of Rome was not about freedom of movement. He is also spectacularly wrong, presumably due to sheer ignorance or venal malice, to suggest that freedom of movement is not a fundamental right within the EU. One would hope that a British Foreign Secretary would have at least a passing understanding of the first two declarations of Article 3 of the Treaty of European Union;
1. The Union`s aim is to promote peace, its values and the well-being of its peoples.
2. The Union shall offer its citizens an area of freedom, security and justice without internal frontiers, in which the free movement of persons is ensured in conjunction with appropriate measures with respect to external border controls, asylum, immigration and the prevention and combating of crime.

Article 3 is clearly a closed book to Boris Johnson. In his interview with the Czech newspaper, Johnson speculated if his use of the word “bollocks” could be translated into Czech. The nearest word is “Hovadina” but this is not entirely accurate as that word is usually used for “bullshit”.

Either way, Johnson`s task is to distract and delay and he is achieving this by talking complete and utter hovadina.

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