Annus horribilis

Via @christhebaker

There are and will be many eloquent eulogies, obituaries and retrospectives of those who breathed their last during 2016 and although some might find the deification of dead celebrities somewhat mawkish, this years` harvest of notable souls has been almost relentless. It is statistically unlikely that 2016 has seen a spike in the demise of the not so rich and rich and famous but it does feel like a lot of the good ones have fallen off the perch and gone beyond and too many of the bad ones are still alive and kicking.

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Carrot and Ginger Soup

Lunatic soup

The children are finally home, the shopping has been done and the drawbridge lifted in the hope of keeping the hatred out for a couple of days. On the eve of Christmas Eve, a strict and meticulously planned catering schedule required the preparation of a Christmas Eve supper. For best results, Carrot and Ginger Soup should be made 24 hours in advance to allow the ingredients a chance to interact. The production of this tasty and healthy soup confirmed what the children have suspected for years; it seems that their father has completely lost his mind.

Take two and bit kilograms (about four and a half pounds) of preferably organic carrots and give them a good wash. Do not peel them as most of the flavour is in the skin. Instead slice them and leave them in cold water.

Peel and roughly chop three large onions and finely chop six garlic cloves and a six inch piece of ginger. Drain the carrots and heat about five tablespoons of vegetable oil in a large (five litre) cooking pot. Cook the onions and carrots on a medium heat for about 10 minutes continually stirring. Add the ginger, garlic and about six teaspoons of turmeric and cook for a further five minutes.

Pour in about three litres of vegetable stock and bring to the boil. Lower the heat, cover and simmer for about 15 minutes or until the carrots are tender.

Allow the soup to cool and then use a hand blender or a food processor to make the soup completely smooth. Cover the pan and leave overnight.

Oh God

Via cloudcity7.com

In this season of peace on earth and goodwill to all men, we should give pause and reflect upon the astounding success of Nigel Farage. After failing to be elected in two parliamentary by elections and five parliamentary general elections, the absentee Member of the European Parliament for the South East of England has amassed more airtime, more column inches of newsprint and more attention than an average or even above average Prime Minister.

The public school commodities broker and anti-establishment scourge of the privileged elite has had his masturbatory fantasy of the United Kingdom leaving the European Union come true and now claims credit for single-handedly protecting our borders, taking back our country and making the South East of England great again. Before an overwhelming 28 per cent of eligible voters decided to leave the EU, Farage said that a vote to remain of, for example, 52 per cent to 48 per cent would be “unfinished business” requiring a second referendum. Strangely, this man of the people now considers 52 per cent a landslide victory and a clear expression of the will of the entire UK population and confirmation of our belief in him as our one, true saviour.

Ministry of Magic

Silly Abbey Road

Of all the government departments labouring away in the dark recesses of Whitehall, none is more expert at artifice, trickery and prestidigitation than the secretive Ministry of Magic. Employing sleight of hand and illusion, its job is to conjure up enough distraction to deceive a gullible public into thinking that everything is going to be alright and that government is kind and is not stealing money from tax payers.

The latest piece of trickery is to announce a complete non-story via the Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government that an oath of allegiance to “British values” might be introduced. Elected officials, including MPs and local authority councillors, civil servants, council workers, teachers and employees of the NHS and BBC will be expected to verbally pledge their loyalty to the crown. Smoke and mirrors are again being cleverly deployed to shift attention away from the ludicrous farce and ongoing train wreck that is our government`s stance on leaving the European Union.

It`s Christmas

So here it is

How indescribably lucky we are as a nation to be under the stewardship of such a kind, caring and thoroughly generous government. The largess and caring munificence of Mrs May and her selfless cabinet colleagues knows no bounds and her avowed mission to care for the vulnerable, support the poor and make this great nation a beacon of equality continues unabated.

The latest gift to a grateful populous is to allow local authorities to increase council tax by six per cent over two years to inject much needed cash into the social care system. This unbelievably charitable act will, no doubt, be a source of great comfort to elderly and disabled people currently abandoned and at risk of starving to death. Mother Theresa has taken bold and compassionate action and has shifted the problem manufactured by a previous government in which she served onto local councils already short of money due to massive cuts imposed by the current and previous governments in which she made a rather comfortable living.