The Plastic Hippo

January 24, 2017

Maggie May

I laughed at all of your jokes

I laughed at all of your jokes

Any comparison between British Prime Ministers must surely be based on integrity, competence and policy outcomes and not on gender or the presence of a womb. Few political commentators would helpfully compare Gordon Brown and David Cameron by stating that they are both male and that at least one of them owns a pair of testicles. A simple observer with a somewhat archaic view of women might conclude that both Margaret Thatcher and Theresa May are, or were, female rather than the more obvious comparison that they share harmful ideology. The obvious difference, apart from signs of life, is that one was out of her mind and the other is out of her depth.

It is worth remembering that Thatcher embraced the single market and faced down the more lunatic euro sceptic elements within her party. May, on the other hand, capitulates to Tory kippers and is making a complete hash of leaving the European Union. The appeal decision by the Supreme Court would suggest that the appeal itself was a complete waste of time and money and an attempt to take back control of parliamentary sovereignty by denying the sovereignty of parliament proved to be an exercise in irony far too difficult for simple back bench Tories to process. It is most amusing to witness the howls of anger and shrieks of bitterness brought forth from “patriots” intent on leaving the EU at any cost when faced by judicial common sense. Interestingly, those screaming the most abuse are those that insist upon the 48 per cent remaining silent. Perhaps we can invent a new word to describe confused yet enthusiastic leavers sadly court in the act – “supremoaners” perhaps?

With the United Kingdom rapidly turning itself into the North Korea of Europe, risible grotesques like Iain Duncan Smith, Theresa Villiers, Jacob Rees Mogg, the simpleton Grayling and the bizarre Gove laughingly believe we can continue to enjoy tariff free trade with the rest of Europe. It is no surprise that history, even recent history, has already judged them as deluded political failures. The failures now tasked with exiting the EU have previously failed. If Boris Johnson, David Davis and Liam Fox are the best we can offer to negotiation the “best possible” deal then we will be lucky to retain our shirts.

Like a drowning sailor clutching at an imaginary lifebelt, the government turn to the west for a special relationship with an unhinged man child incapable of stringing together a cogent sentence. Trump did not say that the UK was “first in line” for a favourable trade deal. Trump said “buy American; hire American” and has based his entire economic strategy on the old “America First” slogan of US supporting fascists during the great depression of the 1930`s. He has already torn up the Trans Pacific Trade deal and NAFTA is likely to be next and he is threatening US industry will all sorts of sanctions if they dare to manufacture stuff beyond US borders. Theresa May has been summoned to the White House not for a trade deal but to arrange a state visit for narcissistic Trump involving a night or two staying at Buckingham Palace. He has declared future anniversaries of his inauguration as a “Day of Patriotic Devotion.” If you squirmed at Blair being George Dubya`s poodle, you ain`t seen nothing yet.

Theresa May once wore a tee-shirt that stated “this is what a feminist looks like”. Given Trump`s opinion of and actions, some allegedly criminal, against women, perhaps May needs to reassess her credentials as a feminist if she wishes to do deals with a man accused of fraud, tax evasion, corruption and sexual assault. One of the new president`s first actions was to reinstate Reagan`s Golden Gag Rule which bans international health organisations receiving US funding from even talking to vulnerable and abused women about abortion.

Trump has already described Theresa May as being “my Maggie” and in so doing compares her to Thatcher and himself to the dim witted Ronald Reagan. Perhaps Trump is a fan of Rod Stewart who had a hit with a song entitled Maggie May. The line “all you did was wreck my bed” is not, it seems a misheard observation on the behaviour of Russian prostitutes or the kind of deal where duff Trident missiles costing billions are fired back in the general direction of Florida. Still, the crew of HMS Vengeance, now safely homeward bound, seem to have passed muster by returning our faulty independent nuclear capability to the manufacturer Lockheed Martin.

Perhaps Trump was thinking of the Beatles rather than Rod Stewart. The Let it Be album features a snatch of an old Liverpool sea shanty about a thieving prostitute that the fab four performed when they were a teenage skiffle group.

“Oh dirty Maggie May
They have taken her away
And she`ll never walk down Lime Street anymore.
The judge he guilty found her
Of robbing a homeward bounder
That dirty, no good robbing Maggie May.”

Clearly Donald Trump as a respectable world leader would never compare politicians based on gender or regard women in general as objects to be collected, grabbed, abused and then dismissed as whores. The real Maggie May was apparently convicted and transported to Van Diemen`s Land.

Maybe Liam Fox could find a trade deal there.

1 Comment »

  1. The only explanation is animal attraction. Or desperation.

    Comment by The Realist — January 25, 2017 @ 11:32 am | Reply

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