The Plastic Hippo

February 21, 2017

Corby

Filed under: Fiction — theplastichippo @ 3:00 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

corbyn
To: Gaz
From: Baz
2 hours ago
Message: This has come straight from Rupert. He is after more dirt to throw at Corby to make sure we secure the Sky deal. He`s is worried that our focus has slipped. Do me a hatchet job splash for tomorrow – 300 words and pictures asap – scruffy, disrespect to old soldiers, abuse of the flag, refusal to sig God Save the Quee – that sort of stuff. Get some iuedo as well. Basically, smear Corby till it squeaks.

To: Baz
From: Gaz
10 minutes ago
Message: Copy as requested.

– STARTS –

“Corby – the shame of England.

What was once a respectable market town in Northamptonshire; has now become the byword for a sordid, unpatriotic and heathen hot bed of sin, depravity and anti-British sedition.

This run-down backwater of filth was founded by Danish Vikings who clearly intended to replace English law with outrageous directives cooked up by faceless unelected enemies of the state in Brussels and Strasbourg. Not only is Corby scruffy, but it also lacks the common decency to respect the veterans of the First World War currently struggling to find a job at Sports Direct, Amazon and the BBC. Astonishingly, there are a number of public buildings in Corby that refuse to install flag poles and fly the Cross of St George. The local cinema and almost all of the pubs and restaurants in the town wilfully refuse to play the National Anthem at the close of business.

The most pressing problem for Corby is, however, the fact that the town is over-run by so-called foreign economic migrants who are obviously terrorists` intent on forcing their own warped version of society upon an unsuspecting and totally innocent Viking population.

When steel manufacturing in Scotland became untenable in the early 1970s under Edward Heath, millions of vile, hairy Scotsman and their awful families descended south to Corby with the documented intent of turning the town into either a Celtic or Rangers no-go area. When Margaret Thatcher closed the steelworks, the so-called refugees remained to become a burden on society.

Go into any shop in Corby and you will find Irn-Bru on sale rather than Coca Cola. Tunnock`s Tea Cakes are on the shelves rather than croissant and square sausage has replaced traditional English bratwurst. In Corby, foreign Tartan has replaced traditional English Woad and the traditional English value of traditional and worthy hatred of foreigners has been rejected in favour of a dangerous liberalism that borders on surrender.

Even President Trump has commented in a speech to a gathering of Florida intellectuals that Corby suffers from endless terrorist attacks because it opened its borders to Vikings or possibly Scots and so is as vulnerable as Sweden when facing up to Muslamic Scotsman with horny helmets wishing to invade bowling greens` as far south as Kettering.

– ENDS –

To: Gaz
From: Baz
5 minutes ago

Message: What the bloody hell is this shite. I asked for a killer about Corby…Corby…the bloody leader of the bloody Labour Party. I did ot wat a piece about bloody Corby in Orthamptonshire. You are a stupid cut and you are fired. Clear your desk.

To: Baz
From: Gaz
1 minute ago
Message: Err boss…I think you should call IT. Looks like the N on your keyboard has stopped working.

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