The Plastic Hippo

May 4, 2017

Breakfast, dinner and tea

Filed under: Politics,Society,World — theplastichippo @ 2:15 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

Image via AP AFP

For all their blindingly obvious failings, it is still possible to feel some sympathy for arrogant career politicians forced out onto the streets and into radio and television studios to explain themselves to an unworthy and inferior electorate.

After a hard day out on the campaign stump shaking babies, kissing hands, making up facts and mangling the meaning of the words that were once contained within a fairly definitive English vocabulary, we should all find some compassion in our hearts for the occasional brain freeze, “mis-spoken” great big statistical whopper, alleged malicious misinterpretation, alleged deliberate distortion and alleged colossal lie taken out of context. Our leaders and potential leaders need to be forgiven for confusing a full English British Exit from the European Union with a continental British Exit from the European Union. With all the boiled eggs in one basket, it is difficult to define what is soft and what is hard.

Exiting breakfast is obviously taxing for some of our good, not so good, great and not so great politicians. Tim Farron`s opinion on gay sex might not be everyone`s bowl of granola and some might choke on their porridge at Mrs May`s commitment to combat tourism. Others might stare in disbelief at their scrambled egg on toast as Diane Abbott gives the grateful nation her impersonation of a complete blithering idiot. Card carrying supporters of complete and blithering idiots immediately shriek that any criticism of the idiot in question is secular bigotry, sexist, racist or the politics of envy. Sadly, idiocy shows scant regard for religion, ethnicity, gender or personal wealth in that in terms of political ambition, idiocy at election time is pretty universal.

After a forced lunch of unfortunate bacon butties, cones of chips or pints of kipper beer accompanied by the constant click and whirring of cameras, our candidates arrive at the even more perilous destination of dinner. Theresa May now knows to her cost that serving up a dogs dinner of leaks, pig`s ears, pork pies, hard cheese and an Eton mess to infinitely wiser European negotiators will only result in disaster. Within 24 hours, the dismissal of European concerns over May`s weakness and instability as being merely “Brussels gossip” was cooked up into threats against the UK placing the jobs and livelihoods of our children and our children`s children in jeopardy.

What was once gossip has now become malevolent interference in the UK general election; an election called by Mrs May not in the national interest but in the interest of Mrs May and her control over the Conservative party. As many observers have pointed out, Mrs May is a Prime Minister who says she will keep her promises but has broken her promise not to hold a election to give her a mandate to replace a mandate she already has to enact an idea in the national interest that she believed was an idea that would harm the national interest.

She asks us to trust her and to judge her on her record. She maintains that only a vote for “her” will keep us safe and prosperous. She claims to be a strong and stable leader and offers compelling evidence of this fact by repeating over and over again that she is a strong and stable leader. If, as she claims, she is a strong and stable leader and, additionally, that any opponent is a threat to national security, then it is surely an act of treason not to engage with traitors and threats to national security in a live televised debate. A strong and stable leader does not tour empty factories, appear only in front of Tory members or refuses to allow reasonable media scrutiny.

Like her predecessors from Edward Heath through Margaret Thatcher to John Major and David Cameron, Mrs May is failing to end an insignificant squabble within the Tory party over Europe and, like her predecessors, it will be her undoing. Only this time, Britain and the rest of Europe will suffer.

Mounting Boudicca`s chariot, picking up Britannia`s shield and appropriating Thatcher`s hairspray might convince the irrationally angry, the naturally aggressive and the gullible nationalist elements in a divided society that bluff, bluster and antagonistic partisan chest beating is the way forward to a peaceful and prosperous future. We can only hope that rationality makes an unexpected comeback.

When a government suggests that the jam, marmalade and preserves industry will be at the centre of UK exports following our exit from the EU, then “high tea” takes on a whole new meaning. That meaning remains a mystery to the working families now reliant on food banks and to the millions more who will join them due to the strong and stable leadership of Theresa May and her failure to control a minority of her own MPs.

On our side are Theresa May, David Davis, Liam Fox and the embarrassing Boris Johnson. Jean-Claude Juncker, Michel Barnier and Guy Verhofstadt will have them for breakfast.

1 Comment »

  1. Almost perfect, except for one or two small details. Diane Abbott was not impersonating a blithering idiot. She was just being herself – a blithering idiot. Christ, I would love a bag of whatever she is smoking.

    And it is impossible to feel sympathy for the arrogant, self-serving career politicians who are willing to do anything to save their own rather fat necks at the expense of everyone else’s.

    Comment by The Realist — May 4, 2017 @ 10:14 am | Reply

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