The Plastic Hippo

June 28, 2017

Clad

Filed under: Politics,Society — theplastichippo @ 4:00 am
Tags: , , , , ,

Following detailed analysis by a number of globally prominent experts, there is growing concern for the safety of a vulnerable Westminster resident who is refusing to evacuate a space that is in real and imminent danger of complete collapse. With her house falling down around her ears and her premises no longer viable or credible, this poor victim of shoddy workmanship and scandalous cutbacks during the construction and refurbishment process now finds herself almost homeless. Fortunately, the recent sub-letting of the crumbling town house to her new orange friend and the installation of a money incinerator under the Renewable Heat Initiative means that the plucky resident is immune from forced eviction as long as the recently discovered money tree continues to supply the recently installed money incinerator.

There are, however, further concerns regarding the materials used to board up the doors and windows of the property in an attempt to thwart the so-called experts and the health and safety storm troopers. It seems that samples of the decorative cladding have been tested and the preliminary results suggest that living in an environment enclosed by such heat insulation is about as safe as opening an email from a Russian cosmonaut en route to a rendezvous with a super nova.

More worrying still is the horrible realisation that similar boarding up cladding is being used to isolate other Westminster addresses including Number 11, the Scottish Office, the Welsh Office, the Northern Ireland Office, the Home Office, the Foreign Office, the Treasury and, more importantly perhaps, the newly created Office for Making a Total Mess of Getting Out of Europe. There are people within these buildings who, like the vulnerable Westminster resident who refuses to leave her subsidised home in spite of all evidence and advice, must be finding it difficult to sleep at night.

Safely barricaded within her potential mausoleum; our vulnerable if plucky resident has quite rightly demanded a public inquiry into the circumstances, causes and consequences of the Grenfell Tower disaster. This approach means that enough time will be given for a thorough and detailed investigation allowing any culpable companies to shred incriminating documents and engage some very clever if expensive lawyers. Time will pass and the dead and the traumatised will be forgotten and those individuals who might or might not be guilty of at least corporate manslaughter will be given enough time to die a natural and comfortable death. The guilty that survive will enjoy a happy retirement funded by a generous pension and government ministers will talk of getting to the bottom of the causes, drawing a line and learning lessons. Government ministers, however, will not offer any comment that would prejudice any ongoing police or judicial inquiry and so, in effect, remain stoically silent.

Our vulnerable resident, desperately clinging to her home, will no doubt cast a worried eye over the latest Hillsborough judgement and then blame previous tenants. She can, at least, forget about Child Sexual Abuse because that fiasco was overseen by a previous Home Secretary as was the curious missing of every immigration target and the illegal abuse of asylum seeking men, women and children.

Experts attempting to persuade the vulnerable resident to remove herself from a dangerous place face an uphill struggle. Mrs May is blurring the lines between stubbornness and stupidity.

Sadly, the victims of Grenfell Tower have no such choice.

Nor do they have an opportunity to question.

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