The Plastic Hippo

February 9, 2016

Serial re-offenders

Usual suspects via some image agency or other

Usual suspects via some image agency or other

By promising significant improvements to an antiquated penal system, David Cameron has guaranteed a lasting legacy that will reverse the causes of criminality and the horrific downward spiral of recidivist degeneracy. Now elevated into the pantheon of enlightened reformers, Cameron`s “biggest shake-up of prisons since the Victorian era” places him along side worthy emancipationists including former Home Secretary Michael Howard, the inspiration behind the Howard League for Penal Reform, and Elizabeth Fry, the inventor of Fry`s Turkish Delight. From now on, the only porridge served will be Quaker Oats. (more…)

January 20, 2016

Caller on line one

Filed under: Fiction,Media,Music,Politics — theplastichippo @ 2:00 am
Tags: ,
Image via David Fisher Rex Features

Image via David Fisher Rex Features

”And that was Life on Mars by David Bowie; a musical legend and the man who changed the world. In this hour we discuss Britain`s nuclear deterrent. Trident; good or bad, right or wrong, vital or irrelevant, fried or boiled, salt or pepper, indiscriminate weapon of mass destruction or the ultimate insurance policy? Have your say by calling our usual number.

Our first caller is Abraham from Barking. Hello Abraham, what would you like to say about Trident? Good or bad, right or wrong, vital or… (more…)

January 14, 2016

Vacant situations

Filed under: Fiction,Politics — theplastichippo @ 12:01 am
Tags: , ,


Due to unprecedented success and expansion, Her Majesty`s government is seeking to recruit further high quality senior executives across a broad range of disciplines to consolidate and develop corporate excellence going forward. We require high-end, front-facing, hands-on, self-starting, low-maintenance, top class professionals with a proven track record of leadership, innovation, accountability, robust scrutiny, sound economic judgement and previous extensive experience in the scapegoat sector. (more…)

January 9, 2016


Filed under: Fiction,Media,Politics — theplastichippo @ 11:00 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,
Get down John, you`re not the PM

Get down John, you`re not the PM

Amid allegations of political bias and the blatant disregard of balanced impartiality, the BBC has once again provoked a storm of outrage and a flood of complaints. This latest controversy centres on senior political correspondent Valerie Singleton`s attempt to interfere with the democratic process by asking former Chancellor of the Exchequer Sir Geoffrey Howe if he might be considering his position as a member of the government. (more…)

January 1, 2016

Old Bores Armagnac

Filed under: Fiction — theplastichippo @ 12:10 pm

The turn of the year is the perfect opportunity for various clairvoyants, mediums, soothsayers, astrologers and other fraudsters to separate gullible fools from their money by publishing spurious predictions for the coming 12 months. The majority of arcane prophesy is predictably vague to ensure an element of self fulfilment and a continuing reputation for uncanny second sight. Thus we have the foretelling of lots of weather in 2016 and the occasional earthquake and aeroplane crash. There will be scandals involving people who are famous for being famous exposed as promiscuous, publicity seeking dilettantes. Old people will die and corruption will be discovered within governments. Sport will take place and minor celebrities will rise and fall and give and receive the gift and curse of pregnancy. Civilians will be killed by bombs, either dropped from the sky or carried in vests and although lots of oratory will continue, not very much will be done about it. Here is the plastic hippo`s Armagnac for 2016. (more…)

Next Page »

The Rubric Theme. Blog at


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 587 other followers