The Plastic Hippo

January 20, 2017

Constant sorrow

Filed under: History,Media,Music,Politics,Rights,World — theplastichippo @ 3:54 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

its-gonna-be-great
In an infinite, expanding and increasingly bizarre universe where strangeness and what once passed for normality have become blurred, the prospect of George Clooney forming a ZZ Top tribute band to perform at the inauguration of a racist con man as the President of the United States would, astonishingly, not be considered as much of a surprise.

The days when presidential indiscretions were quietly ignored are long gone and the American people have decided, with a little helpful persuasion from a former KGB gangster who is now a presidential gangster, that a shameless sexual predator who uses his fame to molest women is the right man for the job. It would seem that the cruel mockery of a journalist with disabilities is acceptable and that a deeply disturbing attitude towards his own daughter is, in some way, normal and that overt racism encouraging hatred is somehow appropriate in the second decade of the 21st century. When a president elect claims that he will be the greatest president ever created by God and gives responsibility for a massive arsenal of lethal weaponry to a character who likes to be known as “mad dog” and when that same president elect is happy to be endorsed by the KKK, then it might be time to start stocking up tinned foods, candles and toilet paper. (more…)

January 4, 2017

Investment opportunity

The next station stop

The next station stop

For people with a large sum of disposable income, I have a cast-iron, copper-bottomed, gold-plated investment opportunity guaranteed to return vast amounts of money for very little effort. All that is needed is initial start-up capital to provide basic raw materials.

I intend to lay a pathway of gravel between a picturesque if insignificant town and a deserted village some miles away. The path will be routed through various hamlets of between three and four houses. The actual location is unimportant but it must be within striking distance of the motorway network. On top of the gravel, I will place short yet stout wooden beams and at right angles to these will be two parallel steel rails at four foot, eight and a half inches apart. Four foot eight and a half is far more sensible than seven foot and a quarter of an inch because of some grooves at the gateway to a ruined Roman town in Northumberland and is the width of a chariot once the wheels have come off. I shall call my invention “a railway.” (more…)

December 16, 2016

It`s Christmas

So here it is

So here it is

How indescribably lucky we are as a nation to be under the stewardship of such a kind, caring and thoroughly generous government. The largess and caring munificence of Mrs May and her selfless cabinet colleagues knows no bounds and her avowed mission to care for the vulnerable, support the poor and make this great nation a beacon of equality continues unabated.

The latest gift to a grateful populous is to allow local authorities to increase council tax by six per cent over two years to inject much needed cash into the social care system. This unbelievably charitable act will, no doubt, be a source of great comfort to elderly and disabled people currently abandoned and at risk of starving to death. Mother Theresa has taken bold and compassionate action and has shifted the problem manufactured by a previous government in which she served onto local councils already short of money due to massive cuts imposed by the current and previous governments in which she made a rather comfortable living. (more…)

December 14, 2016

Rogue One

Filed under: Media,Politics,Rights,Society,Sport,Transport,World — theplastichippo @ 11:50 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Sky Walkers Crisps

Sky Walkers Crisps

When something outrageous or provocative is broadcast on television or radio, there is a simple solution that could avoid a dangerous increase in blood pressure, impotent fury and a desire to hit the domestic appliance with an unusually heavy object. The answer is easy; change channel or switch the bloody thing off.

If the irrational ranting of an anonymous blogger pretending to be a polypropylene even-toed ungulate river horse causes outrage of such incandescence that you are moved to quote the Daily Mail as fact, do not read the blog and look instead at pictures of cats. There is, by the way, no need for any Mollie Sugden references here thank you very much.

If you take umbrage at a total stranger on Twitter or Facebook and feel the need to threaten them with rape and or beheading then the problem might be residing in you rather than in the opinions you disagree with. Try getting out more and maybe attempt to find a girlfriend or, indeed, a boyfriend or, as a short-term measure, another actual human being capable of an actual conversation that aspires to more than basic grunting. (more…)

December 10, 2016

Throne of Games

Filed under: History,Law,Media,Politics,Rights — theplastichippo @ 11:55 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

Supreme Court

Supreme Court

The sound quality was appalling, the camera angles limited and the best way to describe the vision mixing would be clumsy to say the very least but the Supreme Court`s live streaming of the government`s appeal against a High Court ruling regarding the use of the royal prerogative to trigger Article 50 and so leave the European Union made for compelling viewing.

Conducted with a consummate dignity and with a respectful politeness now completely eradicated from news, current affairs, documentary and reality television programming, all R (on the application of Miller and another)(Respondents) v Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union (Appellant) needs is a snappier title and it could well be up for multiple BAFTA nominations. Watching the finest legal minds in the United Kingdom offer arguments and counter-arguments might not be everyone`s idea of daytime television but it was infinitely more edifying that the freak shows that allow us to laugh at the poor and poorly educated. There was no need for bouncers at the Supreme Court. (more…)

Next Page »

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.