Scandal hit world football governing body FIFA has taken the extraordinary decision to relocate the 2018 World Cup away from Russia and stage the competition in the Metropolitan Borough of Walsall. In a further sensational development, FIFA supremo “Mr Football” Slap Bladdered has stepped down with immediate effect in order to spend more time with his money.
FIFA insist that the decision to withdraw from Russia is not due to the abuse of basic human rights, rampant corruption, the brutal murder of journalists and opposition leaders, the invasion of Ukraine or even the former host nation`s insistence on playing their group games at Chelsea`s Stamford Bridge. Instead, the emergence of Walsall as a world football powerhouse is the reason for this dramatic about face. Also the cheque from Vladimir Putin bounced. (more…)
The relief at returning home after a few days away to find that the house has not actually been burgled is usually tempered by having to force open a front door barricaded by a mountain of junk mail. The urge to sift through the pizza delivery leaflets would be a treat for later once the kettle was on, the washing machine loaded and the children safely back on their tablets.
On this occasion, however, the sorting of the privatised Royal Mail unearthed some treasure. Firstly, the bank had admitted to making a mistake in debiting an account (surprise surprise) and a long overdue invoice for a lucrative if difficult commission was finally paid. This good fortune covered the cost of parking in York for the day and still left change to rent the holiday cottage for five days. Mr Micawber knows more about economics that George Osborne. (more…)
Via Ian Britton freefoto.com
The final day for posting second class Christmas mail in mainland UK is Thursday 18th December unless you live in a certain exclusive, up-market suburb of Greater Walsall in which case the last post went three weeks ago. (more…)
Via Daily Mail (No, honest, it is)
If anyone is qualified to know stuff, then God knows there is precious little for humanity to be either cheerful or proud about at the moment but, as we descend into barbarism, we can always rely on the Farage Army to keep our spirits up.
It`s certainly amusing that Kippers consistently fail to grasp even the basics of economics and the subtleties of geo-politics being completely lost and remaining a firmly closed book to them is guaranteed to raise a smile. The belief that human rights only apply to portly, middle-aged, white men and, to a lesser degree, to their wives, children and in some extreme circumstances, their servants is of great comfort for those keen to find people more stupid than themselves. Recently elected Kipper councillors who once spouted nonsense from the safety of ordinary citizenship now kick like drowning men desperate to find the bottom of the accountability pool in local government. Kipper MEPs continue to fight the tyranny and corruption of the EU by only turning up to collect their pay cheques. It`s all very, very funny. (more…)