The Plastic Hippo

March 16, 2016

Wife beater

Filed under: Politics,World — theplastichippo @ 12:01 am
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Via itn.com

Via itn.com

Responding to a legitimate if carefully planted parliamentary question regarding war crimes being committed in Syria, Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond has launched a blistering attack on the brave men and women of the US Air Force and the RAF. He said:

“Well I think my honourable friend reminds us of an important fact. Somebody goes in to another country, starts bombing civilian populations, destroying hospitals and schools. (more…)

February 18, 2016

Witney hold `em

Via Getty Images Alamy

Via Getty Images Alamy

Even if we disregard the blatant lies, the avarice, the duplicity, the arrogance and the sheer incompetence and if we forget the broken pledges, promises, pleas and piffle and if we ignore the bluff, double-bluff and triple-bluff, it is still possible to feel some sympathy for the Rt Hon David Cameron MP. It cannot be easy for a two-bit chancer, snake oil salesman and card-shark to invite himself to the biggest crap game in Europe and expect to be taken seriously. (more…)

February 5, 2016

Basket case

Filed under: Politics,Rights,Society,World — theplastichippo @ 4:00 am
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Via ukbusinessadvisor.com

Via ukbusinessadvisor.com

It seems that February will offer no respite from the relentless onslaught of public loss and collective grief that January inflicted upon a heartbroken society. With the murder of a mother and her two children described by West Yorkshire Police as “a domestic incident” and another mother imprisoned for committing “an act of terrorism” by travelling to Syria to escape domestic violence, the nation must once again be brave in the face of the terrible realisation that after years of unfounded speculation, Lord Lucan is now officially, irrefutably and most definitely dead.

Apparently the son of the murderous peer wishes to inherit the family title and some bizarrely sensationalist press accounts suggest that the former “lucky” Lucan was eaten by a tiger. The fact that a woman was bludgeoned to death cannot be allowed to distract from irresistible speculation regarding the British aristocracy and their dysfunctional lifestyles. If the official passing of legendary icon and national treasure Lucan is difficult to endure, then the tragic loss of any credibility remotely attributable to the current British government in terms of strategic negotiation will propel the fragile populous into despair. Legendary icon, national treasure and minor aristocrat David Cameron will be remembered forever as a man who never once played bass in Motorhead. (more…)

January 30, 2016

Metamorphosis

Filed under: Politics,Rights,Society,World — theplastichippo @ 2:00 am
Tags: , ,
Via audiotool.com

Via audiotool.com

Ducks are deceptive calculating creatures that must not under any circumstances be trusted. Cleverly pretending to be harmless dabbling surface grazers or amusing up-ended bottom feeders, these vicious Anatidae can turn nasty in an instant and lay waste to an entire English village pond.

The accuracy of taxonomy proves beyond any shadow of doubt that ducks are cunning masters of disguise. In order to cause maximum disruption, they take on the appearance of geese to frighten children and even impersonate English swans in the hope of poisoning Her Majesty the Queen at a private banquet. Fortunately, experts with years of dedicated training and vigilance can identify this extremist threat due to ducks being marginally smaller than real English swans and by displaying a completely different coloured plumage. (more…)

January 24, 2016

Chilly con Carney

Via cbc.ca

Via cbc.ca

The chill winds blowing around the picturesque streets of Davos during this last week can be considered as a balmy zephyr compared to the El Nino event likely to thunder along Threadneedle Street and possibly remove the unfixed roof of number 11 Downing Street. Slowly but surely, the almighty con trick of austerity is beginning to unravel.

At 1,560m, Davos is officially the highest town in Europe and the good burghers of Graubünden canton must have been delighted to discover that the town was even higher following the arrival of George Osborne for the World Economic Forum. (more…)

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