Muchachas y los amigos de España; the great kingdom of Spain faces an unprecedented existential crisis brought about by unregulated immigration actively encouraged by faceless, unelected Eurocrats. Spain is full and we must take back control of our borders. Many hard working Spanish families no longer recognise their own pueblito and Spanish is no longer the most commonly spoken language at the bodega or village fiesta. Clearly, high unemployment, financial deficit, debt and the appearance of Lionel Messi in the Panama Papers accused of tax avoidance are all directly linked to uncontrolled immigration and not anything at all to do with the performance of government.
So, to protect our God-given sovereignty and to regain our inalienable right to deflect attention from inadequacy by blaming a group of people who just happen to be foreign, we will introduce an Andalucian points based immigration system. (more…)
Fred and Ginger
Viewed from this considerable distance, watching Hollywood musicals produced in the 1930s is tinged with an indistinct melancholia. With sumptuous sets, casts of thousands, spectacular production numbers and improbably storylines, the golden age of RKO, 20th Century Fox, MGM, Paramount and Warner Brothers portrays a fantasy world in stark contrast to the Great Depression that preceded the Second World War.
In these marvellous yet shallow movies, “ordinary” Americans pursuing the American dream would tap dance in penthouses the size of aircraft hangers; relax with cocktails by the pool, fly down to Rio; dress for diner with minor European royalty and always have a happy ending. A few precious nickels and dimes, or shillings and pennies, could in those dark days buy a couple of hours of escape from a harsh reality. Now, at this considerable distance, Busby Berkeley has been replaced by reality television as a means of escape. Sadly, this escape is based on watching people being thoroughly unpleasant as a form of entertainment and as a reassurance that there are, out there, people more unpleasant than us. (more…)
This little piggy went to the Common Market
Clearly David Cameron is facing a number of questions that require something approaching answers rather than his predicable, tiresome and carefully rehearsed weasel words.
Like all elected representatives in a supposedly mature and functioning democracy, the Prime Minister is answerable to the electorate at the ballot box but with questions regarding electoral fraud being firmly asked and robustly ignored, the certainty of legitimate parliamentary representation is far from certain. It is patently absurd to suggest that illegally spending pots of money in marginal constituencies during elections is anything other than an administrative oversight or an honest mistake which offers conclusive evidence that the Conservative Party still exhibits trace elements of the human race. Equally preposterous is the notion that by flooding marginal constituencies with young hooray Henrys dressed like their grandfathers and displaying a rather disturbing Bertie Wooster fetish, the voting intentions of the public would be swayed toward the nasty. (more…)
Responding to a legitimate if carefully planted parliamentary question regarding war crimes being committed in Syria, Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond has launched a blistering attack on the brave men and women of the US Air Force and the RAF. He said:
“Well I think my honourable friend reminds us of an important fact. Somebody goes in to another country, starts bombing civilian populations, destroying hospitals and schools. (more…)
Via Getty Images Alamy
Even if we disregard the blatant lies, the avarice, the duplicity, the arrogance and the sheer incompetence and if we forget the broken pledges, promises, pleas and piffle and if we ignore the bluff, double-bluff and triple-bluff, it is still possible to feel some sympathy for the Rt Hon David Cameron MP. It cannot be easy for a two-bit chancer, snake oil salesman and card-shark to invite himself to the biggest crap game in Europe and expect to be taken seriously. (more…)