When the details of a secret that was never really a secret are revealed to an incredulous public, there are some punters with attention deficit who will be genuinely surprised and others, with something of an alternative agenda, who will feign shock and outrage to further their own political ambition. The two worst-kept Westminster secrets latterly revealed occurred on one mercifully slow news day. Firstly, Heathrow is to have a new runway and, secondly, the current Transport Secretary Chris Grayling has finally exposed himself as being a totally irredeemable half-wit. Who on Earth spotted that one coming? (more…)
October 26, 2016
October 18, 2016
As the sublimely wonderful Stevie Wonder so eloquently pointed out, if you believe in things that you don`t understand; you suffer – superstition ain`t the way. It is a distinct possibility that what separates religion from superstition is the comparative definition of faith and idiocy but when politics, the economy and policies ranging from health, education and immigration seem to be pulled from magic hats by black cats and chimney sweeps, tarot readings and the most transparent of crystal balls now pass for governance.
The French, during what became known as la belle époque between the Franco Prussian War and the First World War, invented a delightful compromise between religion and superstition by creating a new and lucrative career. Realising that 13 sitting down to dinner would result in terrible bad luck because that was the number taking part in the last supper, professional dinner party guests could be employed to make up the 14. Known as “Quatorzièmes”, these witty raconteurs could expect free food and drink in exchange for some outrageous banter the more scandalous and questionable the better. Inadvertently, the early “Quatorzièmes” paved the way for 21st century politicians and professional controversialist to make money and expect free food and drink by spreading outrageous, scandalous and questionable banter. (more…)
October 14, 2016
In an incredibly uncertain world populated by tyrants, dictators, ne`er do wells and various other foreigners, it took a mere 90 days for the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs to present himself at the House of Commons in order to perform his new front bench role. Given that his almost Cistercian vow of silence following his appointment is entirely out of character, Boris Johnson did not need to be dragged kicking and screaming to front a much needed parliamentary debate concerning the ongoing crimes against humanity being committed across Syria and in particular in Aleppo. (more…)
October 10, 2016
To openly gloat over the misfortunes of others, even if they happen to be the most unpleasant, hate-filled, narcissistic attention seekers to ever pollute political debate, is not big and not clever. However, when dubious politicians display their “man of the people” credentials by softening the mood with some whacky stunt, the nation and indeed the world should applaud them for giving us all a right old laugh.
So, after adopting a serious face to sincerely hope that UKIP MEP Steven Woolf makes a full recovery, we should give him a heartfelt slap on the back for being part of the funniest public punch-up since Monty Python`s fish slapping dance. We should also thank Boris Johnson for giving us an image of him gagged and bound to a chair in a locked basement somewhere in the vicinity of Whitehall to prevent him from cracking anymore jokes. Gratitude is also owed to Nigel Farage, who, after having his only policy nicked from under his nose, continues to amuse as his party falls apart amid handbag fights. But at top of the tree, lobbing comedy faecal nuggets with definitely not gay abandon sits one Donald Trump. (more…)
September 30, 2016
There was a time when hard work, integrity, honesty, diligence and morality were considered as rewards in themselves for any duty, task or employment but in an age when hypocrisy and negligence are essential requirements on the job description for public office, exemption from scrutiny and responsibility are as important as financial rewards. It would seem that dismissal, either fair or unfair, is unthinkable. Resignation from any post as a result of malpractice, maladministration or malfeasance is now a half-forgotten relic of some bygone age. Corruption can expect to be ignored, incompetence attracts reward and being caught red handed on the fiddle can be explained away as a simple human error.
With an elite now in a constant state of denial regarding culpability and trust, it comes as no surprise to find a bang to rights bent England football manager offering “entrapment” as a defence against being greedy, stupid and corrupt. Mercifully, he parts company amicably with a meagre pay off of one million after one game. Similarly, we discover that the world`s best cyclist suffers from asthma (more…)