The Plastic Hippo

March 1, 2017

From Russia with Love

Filed under: Fiction,History,Media,Politics — theplastichippo @ 5:06 am
Tags: , , , , ,
And the 45th President of the United States of America is...

And the 45th President of the United States of America is…

It is a little known but irrefutable alternative fact that secret medical experiments attempting to reverse death developed during the Cold War in the then Soviet Union are continuing under the democratically elected government of the free, fair and completely trustworthy Russian Federation.

The research into preserving life after death started innocently enough during the civil war that followed the Russian revolution of October 1917. Various attempts to create harmony by re-assembling dead Bolsheviks mixed with dead White Guard counter-revolutionaries ended in failure as did an unsuccessful revival of the Romanov family in the hope of putting them on trial for crimes against humanity. One happy by product of the endeavour resulted in Lenin leaving behind an absolutely magnificent corpse. (more…)

February 27, 2017

Imagine

cliff
Imagine that after defying all the odds and confounding both critics and supporters alike, you wake up to find that you have guided Leicester City to unexpected and ultimate success as Champions of the Premier League. Alternatively, imagine looking in the mirror and discovering that you are a Thai billionaire duty-free shop magnate with an interest in football that only extends to the amount of personal wealth that can be made. Just nine months after an astonishing sporting achievement, the loyalty of fans toward Claudio Ranieri seems undiminished unlike the loyalty of a chairman more interested in television revenues than fans and certain mediocre players more interested in the transfer market than loyalty to the manager.

Imagine waking up as “Sir Mo”, the darling of the tabloid press only to go back to bed as plain Mohamed after your coach has come under suspicion of being up to no good. (more…)

February 22, 2017

Who ate all the pies?

Filed under: Media,Sport — theplastichippo @ 3:05 am
Tags: , , , ,
Image via BBC Sport

Image via BBC Sport

When the manufactured scandal has blown over and the dust has settled, the name of Sutton United`s reserve goalkeeper will return mercifully to deserved obscurity in about the same time as it takes to invent another scandal for the back pages of scurrilous tabloid rags.

In case you were not paying attention, the big story on Monday was not the Iraqi Army`s assault on Mosul or the Commons debating the Trump visit or the Lords debating Article 50 or even the sad death of Steve Hewlett which marked yet another loss of principled, intelligent and valued journalism. No, the big story was a fat man eating a pie at a football match. (more…)

February 21, 2017

Corby

Filed under: Fiction — theplastichippo @ 3:00 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

corbyn
To: Gaz
From: Baz
2 hours ago
Message: This has come straight from Rupert. He is after more dirt to throw at Corby to make sure we secure the Sky deal. He`s is worried that our focus has slipped. Do me a hatchet job splash for tomorrow – 300 words and pictures asap – scruffy, disrespect to old soldiers, abuse of the flag, refusal to sig God Save the Quee – that sort of stuff. Get some iuedo as well. Basically, smear Corby till it squeaks. (more…)

February 19, 2017

Fake news

fishy
Dateline: Saturday 18th August 2017
Newly elected British Prime Minister Keir Starmer has caused further controversy just two days into office by signing a series of executive orders distancing the United Kingdom from formal agreements made by his predecessor with the government of the United States of America.

Mr Starmer`s meteoric ascendance to power is widely seen as a result of the Spring resignation of Jeremy Corbyn as Leader of the Labour Party and Leader of the Opposition. (more…)

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