The Plastic Hippo

March 15, 2015

Kitchen cabinet

Filed under: Media,Politics — theplastichippo @ 3:00 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,
Image credit - Desmond O`Neil

Image credit – Desmond O`Neil

After exposing Ed and Justine Miliband as communist aliens, the Daily Mail`s star columnist is now saving the really big scoop that proves conclusively that Justine is a practicing witch.

A curious Hello Magazine style puff piece chez nous with the Miliband aliens run by BBC News prompted Sarah Vine to sharpen some stakes and appoint herself as witch-finder general. The BBC`s Deputy Political Editor James Landale informed the Leader of the Opposition that the electorate thought he looked odd, he stabbed his brother and was a bit of a geek. Now that a completely innocent and totally impartial growth has discovered that it has Nick Robinson attached to it, Landale is continuing the tradition of bold and challenging political interrogation. Miliband laughed at him.

The old Etonian then turned his considerable insight toward Justine and it is here that we find irrefutable evidence of witchcraft. She said that she expected the torrent of vilification and highly personal attacks to worsen as the election approaches. There – an admission from her own lips – she uses vile occult rituals to see into the future – she`s a witch – she`s a witch. (more…)

March 10, 2015

Missing pets – reward offered

Coq au vin

Coq au vin

The 2010 election campaign was not won, lost, drawn or quartered due to televised debates by party leaders but was influenced by a shrewd and calculated understanding of knowing who to keep away from media attention.

Realising that he was an electoral liability, Conservative strategists basically kept George Osborne locked in a cupboard with a pool ball gaffer taped to his gob until after polling day. Now in 2015, Osborne`s retreat into Trappist silence is probably self-imposed as he manoeuvres to inherit Cameron`s hollow crown. He was last sighted in public explaining that, as Chancellor, it was not his job to investigate the tax arrangements of the boss of a very big British bank who happened to be a former Conservative minister. George argued that scrutiny of money laundering, drug running, illegal arms deals and massive tax evasion would be a threat to democracy. George is a much-loved family pet and if you find him please return him to HSBC Canary Wharf. (more…)

March 7, 2015

Empty chair

Filed under: Media,Politics — theplastichippo @ 11:00 am
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Marginal seat

Marginal seat

She might have been an unpleasant, vindictive and in the end a rather bonkers Prime Minister, but Margaret Thatcher`s greatest achievement was to re-introduce a quaint Lincolnshire dialect word into the political lexicon. Describing her enemies as “frit” sent Westminster hacks and politicos rushing to Grantham to ask a local what “frit” actually means. This first indication that nobody had a clue what she was talking about was soon replaced with an enthusiastic adoption of “frit” as a descriptor of anyone Westminster hacks and politicos didn`t happen to like. Not to be outdone, David Cameron, the unpleasant, vindictive and now prone to episodes of concerning instability, will be remembered for his greatest achievement – the adoption of a brand new verb into the English language. (more…)

March 2, 2015

#Я Борис Немцов

Filed under: Politics,World — theplastichippo @ 5:00 am
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Nemtsov image via Sergei Ilnitsky-EPA

Nemtsov image via Sergei Ilnitsky-EPA

The really big problem with attempting to convey a really big idea is the necessity to form a really meaningless sound bite or, in this increasingly digital age, a stupid hash tag. The reduction of collective human intelligence to a bullet point is, however, nothing new. Some might point to Plato with his syllogistic “all men are mortal” meme or to Rene Descartes who proclaimed “cogito ergo sum”. It is worth pointing out at this point that Plato and Descartes are long dead and so are probably indifferent to “likes” or “RTs” on social media. My advice is to find out about stuff before you endorse things that might or might not be true. (more…)

February 28, 2015

Straw poll

Via Telegraph - Channel 4

Via Telegraph – Channel 4

To suggest that Jack Straw and Malcolm Rifkin are anything other than fine upstanding, honest and highly respected parliamentarians is merely cheap political opportunism in the middle of a toxic and seemingly endless election campaign. The Right Honourable Jack and the Right Honourable Malcolm have broken no rules and done no wrong according to the Right Honourable Jack and the Right Honourable Malcolm. Bellowing indignant outrage or even mild disquiet at an occasional honest mistake or slight lapse of judgement is nothing short slanderous spite and libellous envy. These fine, upstanding and rather gorgeous MPs have devoting years of selfless public service and are entitled to an occasional big, fat juicy cheque over and above their meagre £67 grand basic salaries plus allowances and expenses. It is not as if they are doing anything immoral or even illegal. (more…)

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