The Plastic Hippo

February 22, 2016

Patriots unleashed

Via Stefan Rousseau Reuters

Via Stefan Rousseau Reuters

With just four short months to go, preparations for the summer solstice have hit fever pitch with the announcement of a self-selected all-England Morris Dancing team to challenge the world. The six most honest, intelligent, hard-working and photogenic synchronised handkerchief wavers have finally stepped out from the shadow of collective ministerial responsibility and can now campaign for patriotism unfettered, un-gagged and, if the first 24 hour hours is anything to go by, more than a little unhinged. With Boris Johnson sewing flowers into his hat and strapping bells to his knees and elbows, English Morris Dancing is certain to enjoy a tumultuous resurgence. (more…)

February 18, 2016

Witney hold `em

Via Getty Images Alamy

Via Getty Images Alamy

Even if we disregard the blatant lies, the avarice, the duplicity, the arrogance and the sheer incompetence and if we forget the broken pledges, promises, pleas and piffle and if we ignore the bluff, double-bluff and triple-bluff, it is still possible to feel some sympathy for the Rt Hon David Cameron MP. It cannot be easy for a two-bit chancer, snake oil salesman and card-shark to invite himself to the biggest crap game in Europe and expect to be taken seriously. (more…)

February 14, 2016

Defying gravity

Filed under: Sport — theplastichippo @ 11:06 pm
Tags: ,
Via glamgrid.com

Via glamgrid.com

In an increasingly predictable and occasionally boring existence, there are very few things that can still provoke jaw-dropping astonishment. If the discovery, observation and actual measurement of gravitational waves left you agog with wonder, consider the utterly remarkable and almost frightening piece of reality that two weeks into February and with 12 matches to play, Leicester City are 2 points clear at the top of the Premier League.

Although narrowly beaten by Arsenal, Leicester are still favourites to win the title and on current form clever football pundits suggest that Arsenal were lucky to score the winner in the fifth minute of added time against ten men. Astonishingly, the Gunners were considered as underdogs and their last gasp victory is regarded as something of a shock. Once considered as lower league cannon fodder at the mercy of better resourced global brands, Leicester have spent the equivalent of the fines accrued from motoring offences by players at richer corporate entities. (more…)

February 11, 2016

Quacks

Filed under: Health,Media,Politics — theplastichippo @ 3:02 am
Tags: , , , , ,

John BullFor a man of my age and given a lifetime of rather unpleasant and somewhat destructive habits, I am unfairly blessed with remarkably good health. On Wednesday, however, I presented my sorry carcass to a local A & E department and demanded to be seen by a junior doctor and, for good measure, any passing neurosurgeon in order to give them a piece of whatever remains of my mind regarding their decision to undertake industrial action. The very idea that junior doctors should vote to strike is an indication of just how sick the patient is and with vital signs fading, it might be too late for intensive care. (more…)

February 9, 2016

Serial re-offenders

Usual suspects via some image agency or other

Usual suspects via some image agency or other

By promising significant improvements to an antiquated penal system, David Cameron has guaranteed a lasting legacy that will reverse the causes of criminality and the horrific downward spiral of recidivist degeneracy. Now elevated into the pantheon of enlightened reformers, Cameron`s “biggest shake-up of prisons since the Victorian era” places him along side worthy emancipationists including former Home Secretary Michael Howard, the inspiration behind the Howard League for Penal Reform, and Elizabeth Fry, the inventor of Fry`s Turkish Delight. From now on, the only porridge served will be Quaker Oats. (more…)

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