The Plastic Hippo

October 14, 2016

Kicking and screaming

Filed under: Law,Politics,Rights,World — theplastichippo @ 3:00 am
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In an incredibly uncertain world populated by tyrants, dictators, ne`er do wells and various other foreigners, it took a mere 90 days for the Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs to present himself at the House of Commons in order to perform his new front bench role. Given that his almost Cistercian vow of silence following his appointment is entirely out of character, Boris Johnson did not need to be dragged kicking and screaming to front a much needed parliamentary debate concerning the ongoing crimes against humanity being committed across Syria and in particular in Aleppo. (more…)

October 10, 2016

Make `em laugh



To openly gloat over the misfortunes of others, even if they happen to be the most unpleasant, hate-filled, narcissistic attention seekers to ever pollute political debate, is not big and not clever. However, when dubious politicians display their “man of the people” credentials by softening the mood with some whacky stunt, the nation and indeed the world should applaud them for giving us all a right old laugh.

So, after adopting a serious face to sincerely hope that UKIP MEP Steven Woolf makes a full recovery, we should give him a heartfelt slap on the back for being part of the funniest public punch-up since Monty Python`s fish slapping dance. We should also thank Boris Johnson for giving us an image of him gagged and bound to a chair in a locked basement somewhere in the vicinity of Whitehall to prevent him from cracking anymore jokes. Gratitude is also owed to Nigel Farage, who, after having his only policy nicked from under his nose, continues to amuse as his party falls apart amid handbag fights. But at top of the tree, lobbing comedy faecal nuggets with definitely not gay abandon sits one Donald Trump. (more…)

October 6, 2016

Lady Marmalade



Following the marvellous Conservative Party Conference in Birmingham, it has never been more obvious to any member of the voting public blessed with the ability to clutch a pencil and mark a cross, that Theresa May is the best Prime Minister that this nation has ever seen. We know this to be fact because her press secretary said so and it is her destiny to remain as Prime Minister for a glorious reign of at least a thousand years. We know this to be fact because of the number of votes she gained during the leadership election, the number of young people removed from the electoral role and with a spectacular piece of gerrymandering not seen since Gerry first Mandered, the redefining of constituency boundaries.

Even before the latest product of the Nightmare on Broad Street franchise hit the screens of Birmingham and beyond, the occasional confusion grenade was lobbed at a gullible public in order to distract from the main feature. The return of the grammar school was waved in front of Downing Street cameras as a diversion from the clueless attempts at an early withdrawal from Europe. “Oh you naughty boys,” giggled a coquettish government, “you have discovered my little secret.” (more…)

October 2, 2016

Strong message here


Following the shambolic pantomime describing itself as the Labour Party Conference in Liverpool, it has never been more obvious to any member of the voting public with half a brain that Jeremy Corbyn is completely unelectable. We know this to be fact because our independent media and the Conservative Party and the BBC and about 170 Labour MPs tell us so. They also tell us that he is scruffy, unpatriotic, devious, a liar, a hypocrite, a champagne socialist, a terrorist sympathiser, a cunning mastermind, stupid, evil, disloyal, dogmatic, a danger to national security and would probably urinate on a passing Corgi owned by Her Majesty the Queen.

Obviously, the five right-wing billionaires who own the printed press, the small group of anonymous Tory strategists running the country, the state broadcaster flirting dangerously close to charter compliance and about 170 Labour MPs worried about future employment wish Jeremy Corbyn to be unelectable and are morbidly familiar with having their wishes come true. (more…)

September 30, 2016


Via thesimpsons

Via thesimpsons

There was a time when hard work, integrity, honesty, diligence and morality were considered as rewards in themselves for any duty, task or employment but in an age when hypocrisy and negligence are essential requirements on the job description for public office, exemption from scrutiny and responsibility are as important as financial rewards. It would seem that dismissal, either fair or unfair, is unthinkable. Resignation from any post as a result of malpractice, maladministration or malfeasance is now a half-forgotten relic of some bygone age. Corruption can expect to be ignored, incompetence attracts reward and being caught red handed on the fiddle can be explained away as a simple human error.

With an elite now in a constant state of denial regarding culpability and trust, it comes as no surprise to find a bang to rights bent England football manager offering “entrapment” as a defence against being greedy, stupid and corrupt. Mercifully, he parts company amicably with a meagre pay off of one million after one game. Similarly, we discover that the world`s best cyclist suffers from asthma (more…)

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