The Plastic Hippo

February 27, 2017

Imagine

cliff
Imagine that after defying all the odds and confounding both critics and supporters alike, you wake up to find that you have guided Leicester City to unexpected and ultimate success as Champions of the Premier League. Alternatively, imagine looking in the mirror and discovering that you are a Thai billionaire duty-free shop magnate with an interest in football that only extends to the amount of personal wealth that can be made. Just nine months after an astonishing sporting achievement, the loyalty of fans toward Claudio Ranieri seems undiminished unlike the loyalty of a chairman more interested in television revenues than fans and certain mediocre players more interested in the transfer market than loyalty to the manager.

Imagine waking up as “Sir Mo”, the darling of the tabloid press only to go back to bed as plain Mohamed after your coach has come under suspicion of being up to no good. (more…)

January 3, 2016

Four funerals and a smart phone

Filed under: Media,Society,Sport — theplastichippo @ 4:00 am
Tags: , ,
Get Smart

Get Smart

It`s not that I`m ungrateful or that I`m unaware of the considerable expense but after years of resisting intrusive technology, Santa delivered unto me a smart phone on Christmas morning.

It would be an appalling abrogation of fatherhood to dismiss this kindness and tell my children that I would have preferred a bottle of Lagavulin or a ticket to the Edgbaston test match. So I thanked them profusely for clubbing together with the help, I suspect, of their mother to allow me to connect to the internet thingy when walking along the street. On reflection, this is a long-held ambition that I have never actually considered. It seems that my existing phone has caused them embarrassment due to its great age and although the screen is badly scratched and it requires a lump of Blu-Tack to connect the charger, it does what I want it to do. It can make and receive telephone calls and on some adventurous occasions, send and receive text messages. Call me old-fashioned, but I have no wish to join the throngs of automatons walking into lamp posts whilst immersed in a digital conversation with people they saw five minutes ago and will see again in half an hour. (more…)

August 8, 2015

How much?

Filed under: Sport — theplastichippo @ 4:00 pm
Tags: ,
Via nottinghampost.com

Via nottinghampost.com

Setting aside the impulse purchase of a Betamax video player and an eight track cartridge player for a Sinclair C5, forking out 140 quid for a seat in the Radcliffe Road end at Trent Bridge for the fourth day of the Ashes test seemed rather rash.

England, however, easily won the Ashes before noon on the third day and thus the long planned journey to Nottingham was rendered redundant. Fortunately, Trent Bridge gives refunds so the dosh is earmarked for a shopping trolley full of Fosters and a case of Jacob`s Creek Shiraz. (more…)

May 26, 2015

Suprise, surprise

Lucille Balls

Lucille Balls

Cor blimey, strike a light, lawks a mercy you could knock me down with a feather Mary Poppins and no mistake. As we bask in the consolidation of traditional British values of not liking foreigners and poor people very much, imagine the horror and incredulity at discovering that the banks have been acting illegally again…and again…and again. I didn`t see that one coming and I am shocked – shocked I tell you – that one or maybe two bad apples have yet again besmirched the impeccable reputation of our entrepreneurial financial wealth creators. Never mind, no harm done, lessons have been learned and it`s time to draw a line and move on. No arrests have been made. (more…)

May 2, 2015

A six day test

Via Mirrorpix

Via Mirrorpix

There comes a moment in a test match, usually just before lunch on the fourth day, when cricket fans realise that both sides have settled for a draw. With rain on the way, the art of spin replaces the raw aggression of pace and a lofted drive through extra cover or the dispatch of a bouncer with a hook over the head of deep fine leg gives way to studious back foot defence. As an American friend once observed; “What…five days and nobody won..?”

British politics was once as different to American politics as cricket is to baseball. Both certainly involve a bat, a ball and people running about but with fireworks and dancing girls at test matches and a UK election to decide between two individual human beings, the boundaries have become indistinct. The presidential candidates ambitious for number 10 are playing out for a draw by doing a lot of shouting and basically keeping their powder dry until the next test match takes place in October. (more…)

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