The Plastic Hippo

December 22, 2014

Hippo Birdie Two Ewe

Mandy Rice Davies

Mandy Rice Davies

On the 22 December 2009 at 1:08am, this blog surfaced from the depths and has continued with its annoying blather ever since. Exactly five years ago, Gordon Brown was Prime Minister and Ed Balls was in charge of education. History has smiled upon these hapless individuals as they were lucky enough to be succeeded by individuals who were even more useless.

Michael Gove proved to be such a liability that David Cameron had to sack him and David Cameron has proved to be the most inept Prime Minister since Anthony Eden and the most corrupt Prime Minister since Robert Walpole. Some things, however, never change. On December 22 2009 a suicide bomber killed three people and injured a further 17 in Peshawar and two police officers were wounded and the suspect shot dead in Washington State. (more…)

June 8, 2014

Gove vs. Reality

Rigor mortis

Rigor mortis

With the best will in the world and summoning up all remaining reserves of compassion, empathy, forgiveness and basic humanity, it is impossible to like anything about Michael Gove.

Any redeeming qualities this Secretary of State for Education might once have manifested now languish in the ruins of his credibility, venal dishonesty, incompetence and abject failure. The latest shambles brought about by the right dishonourable member for Surrey Heath revolves around an alleged plot to infiltrate Birmingham schools with warped ideology and barking mad extremist dogma. (more…)

January 16, 2014

But for the grace of God

Grace and danger

Grace and danger

When a school or, more significantly, a chain of schools feels that it is necessary to appoint a Director of Corporate Development, you might be forgiven for wondering how such a post might improve teaching and learning.

Grace Academy Darlaston is a Specialist Business and Enterprise Academy and seems to have been specialising in diverting government funding into the pockets, wallets, purses and bank accounts of the enterprising business folk that recognise a money tree when they see one. Usually, newspapers tend to employ Freedom of Information requests as an alternative to actual journalism in order to fill columns with faux outrage, but the Guardian has managed to dig up some dirt that a lot of vested interests would prefer to remain buried. Academies, it seems, and especially Academy chains might not have the interests of pupils as the number one priority and instead might be more focussed on corporately developing the financial wellbeing of sponsors and trustees. The actual definition of the words “sponsor” and “trustee” at Grace Academy might be challenging for even the brightest A Star English student. (more…)

December 9, 2013

The book of Gideon

Image via

Image via

And Almighty God didst looketh down upon Gideon and was displeased and in His merciful anger didst send a mighty storm to smiteth Gideon, destroyer, feller of trees, brother of Cameron, brother of Clegg and son of Thatcher.

For Gideon had displeased the Lord with perfidy and the telling of porkie pies and the worship of false prophesies. But God`s great flood did not cleanse the sins of Gideon and did not cast the multitude unto the waters. The tribes of Poplar and Rotherhithe did give supplication at the Holy Sepulchre of the Thames Tidal Flood Barrier. (more…)

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