The Plastic Hippo

June 19, 2017

Tragedy

Via ITN.com


It is conceivable that during the early hours of last Wednesday morning returning from a game of football between France and England in Paris the previous evening, Prime Minister Theresa May on final approach to RAF Northolt might have glanced out of the window and witnessed flames lighting up the night sky above West London. Later, as her motorcade sped along the A40, perhaps her thoughts on England`s woeful defensive performance against 10 men were disturbed by the smell of acrid smoke. Then on the Westway, the burning cladding blowing across the carriageway might just have distracted her mind from what she needs to bribe the Democratic Unionist Party with in order to prolong her stay in Downing Street. We may never know at precisely what point, if indeed at all, she considered the game was well and truly up. (more…)

June 27, 2015

Bus replacement service

Via wirralglobe.co.uk

The entire point of being a token Northerner in a metro centric privileged government is that any hope of a long career is shrouded by inevitable redundancy.

Eric Pickles brought very little to the cabinet table apart from a regional accent and a huge tray of free biscuits and after the election was unceremoniously told to go away and settle for a knighthood. (more…)

March 10, 2015

Missing pets – reward offered

Coq au vin

Coq au vin

The 2010 election campaign was not won, lost, drawn or quartered due to televised debates by party leaders but was influenced by a shrewd and calculated understanding of knowing who to keep away from media attention.

Realising that he was an electoral liability, Conservative strategists basically kept George Osborne locked in a cupboard with a pool ball gaffer taped to his gob until after polling day. Now in 2015, Osborne`s retreat into Trappist silence is probably self-imposed as he manoeuvres to inherit Cameron`s hollow crown. He was last sighted in public explaining that, as Chancellor, it was not his job to investigate the tax arrangements of the boss of a very big British bank who happened to be a former Conservative minister. George argued that scrutiny of money laundering, drug running, illegal arms deals and massive tax evasion would be a threat to democracy. George is a much-loved family pet and if you find him please return him to HSBC Canary Wharf. (more…)

January 20, 2015

We have a problem

Filed under: Faith,Health,Media,Politics — theplastichippo @ 2:30 am
Tags: , , , , ,
Image via Reuters

Image via Reuters

To mock a politician for his or her physique, appearance, weight or any other irrelevant corporal attribute is beneath contempt and has no place in serious political engagement. Eric Pickles has suffered no end of childish insults regarding his ample girth but there is much more to the Communities Secretary than simple being overweight. He might be a fat bastard, but he is also an ugly, stupid, fat bastard.

He is an ugly bastard because the day before he wrote to 1,000 Muslim clerics and other leaders telling them that they should be responsible for “explaining and demonstrating how faith in Islam can be part of British identity”; he and the Home Secretary held up signs proclaiming “Je Suis Juif”. To suggest that Islam and British identity are mutually exclusive is on a par with blaming British Jews for the Israeli atrocities currently taking place in Gaza. Using his own logic, Eric Pickles and Theresa May are guilty of war crimes against children. They have publicly stated without any thought of an impending election; “Je Suis Juif”. (more…)

December 19, 2014

Film 2015

Filed under: Fiction — theplastichippo @ 2:00 am
Tags: , ,
Via usvth3m.com

Via usvth3m.com

As a result of an unprecedented terrorist cyber attack, the lucrative North Korean film industry has withdrawn from release a new comedy film that depicts a plot to assassinate UK Communities minister Eric Pickles.

Described as a “harmless romp”, the movie that was produced in Pyongyang`s premier Japanese owned studio is thought to ridicule the Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government in a series of sexist and racially stereotypical sight gags with particular emphasis on his physical appearance, silly name and irrational egocentric behaviour. At various points in the film, Mr Pickles is compared to Jabba the Hut, a Soltaran from Doctor Who, Humpty Dumpty and even a complete and utter waste of space. (more…)

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