The Plastic Hippo

January 24, 2017

Maggie May

I laughed at all of your jokes

I laughed at all of your jokes

Any comparison between British Prime Ministers must surely be based on integrity, competence and policy outcomes and not on gender or the presence of a womb. Few political commentators would helpfully compare Gordon Brown and David Cameron by stating that they are both male and that at least one of them owns a pair of testicles. A simple observer with a somewhat archaic view of women might conclude that both Margaret Thatcher and Theresa May are, or were, female rather than the more obvious comparison that they share harmful ideology. The obvious difference, apart from signs of life, is that one was out of her mind and the other is out of her depth. (more…)

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January 6, 2017

Mob rule

Filed under: Media,Politics,Society — theplastichippo @ 3:00 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

the-52-per-cent
There can be no finer example of British values than the deranged irrationality of an ill-informed angry mob in full hue and cry. The indignant if ignorant enraged fury in other circumstances might be regarded as hilarious where it not for the seriousness of the current situation and the shrieks of bitter opprobrium in more sensible times would probably induce sympathy rather than a futile acceptance that the world has gone stark, raving mad.

Sir Ivan Rogers might not be a household name but that does not present a barrier to appearing on celebrity television game shows populated by celebrities that no one has ever heard of. His resignation as the British Ambassador to the European Union has elevated him to a fame beyond bag carrying diplomacy. (more…)

November 5, 2016

New Model Army

via-historyextra-com
November 5th 2017 – Sporadic fighting continues as skirmishes between rival factions in the English Civil War Part Two bring national misery and international derision. The Prime Minister, King Theresa May the First remains vehement that the Divine Right of Unelected Prime Ministers trumps the sovereignty of elected MPs and a subversive and unpatriotic parliament. The King maintains that no running commentary will be given regarding England taking leave of its senses; cards will not be put on the table and there will be no blow by blow account of England taking leave of the planet. So there… the King has spoken and the King has been chosen by Almighty God and not by the Conservative Party, or parliament, for that matter, the electorate.

The latest battles to take place between Cavalier royalists and Roundhead parliamentarians focuses on England`s overwhelming desire by 52 per cent to 48 per cent to sever allegiances with King Louis XIV of France, the Duchy of Lorraine, the Prince-Bishopric of Strasbourg and Ferdinand III of the Holy Roman Empire. The English people have clearly rejected various foreign treaties, protocols and declarations made in foreign places like Schengen, Maastricht, Amsterdam, Nice or Lisbon and wish to preserve the unique Roman, Viking and Norman Englishness of England by closing our borders to bloody foreigners. (more…)

October 6, 2016

Lady Marmalade

Via westminsteradvisors.co.uk

Via westminsteradvisors.co.uk

Following the marvellous Conservative Party Conference in Birmingham, it has never been more obvious to any member of the voting public blessed with the ability to clutch a pencil and mark a cross, that Theresa May is the best Prime Minister that this nation has ever seen. We know this to be fact because her press secretary said so and it is her destiny to remain as Prime Minister for a glorious reign of at least a thousand years. We know this to be fact because of the number of votes she gained during the leadership election, the number of young people removed from the electoral role and with a spectacular piece of gerrymandering not seen since Gerry first Mandered, the redefining of constituency boundaries.

Even before the latest product of the Nightmare on Broad Street franchise hit the screens of Birmingham and beyond, the occasional confusion grenade was lobbed at a gullible public in order to distract from the main feature. The return of the grammar school was waved in front of Downing Street cameras as a diversion from the clueless attempts at an early withdrawal from Europe. “Oh you naughty boys,” giggled a coquettish government, “you have discovered my little secret.” (more…)

September 9, 2016

Area 50 Article 51

Chevening

Chevening

Area 51, as any self-appointed expert on alien life forms will more than happily tell you, is a top secret dark operations base located on a salt flat near Groom Lake in Nevada some 83 miles north-northwest of Las Vegas. The dead and injured victims of crashed space craft are taken there for either autopsy or examination. Some experts go so far as to suggest that surviving extraterrestrial beings are actually sharing their knowledge of advanced technology and are even now colluding with earthly governments in secret research. Obviously the presence of non-earthlings would create panic and be very bad for business for world religion so it makes perfect sense to keep such creatures locked up and safely out of sight. (more…)

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