The Plastic Hippo

May 15, 2016

Lake Placid in the pixies

Via virgula.uol.com.br

Via virgula.uol.com.br

There is compelling evidence that suggests a direct correlation between prolonged delusional hallucinations and even the most casual or brief use recreational pharmaceuticals and or strong drink. Medical science has produced irrefutable data proving that even a tiny sip of demon alcohol or just a puff of the Devil`s weed from Hell proves a causal link to a lifetime of madness, surreal visions and nightmarish imaginings. Pity then, an entire generation that wake every morning to warped apparitions and are haunted at night by weird and unreal ghosts for this is the generation that decided to take acid in the 60s. (more…)

May 9, 2016

Living by the sword

Cut and thrust

Cut and thrust

At long last, evidence of complete impartiality, balance, transparency and the highest standards of news reporting, accurate journalism and complete commitment to revealing the truth has been allowed to prove conclusively that the British Broadcasting Corporation offers astonishing value for money in covering breaking stories across the entire planet, Europe, the United Kingdom and, more importantly, the cabinet room at Number 10 Downing Street.

After years of unfounded accusations of bias, BBC News has finally laid to rest the preposterous notion that the organisation is in some way operating an agenda that ignores the wider United Kingdom by only focussing on the South-East, London and the Westminster bubble. In a tour de force of heroic reportage, the BBC has provided comprehensive coverage of a Labour party melt-down in local council elections; a Labour party wiped out in Scotland and a Labour party crushed in Wales. Rejected, humiliated and universally loathed by all decent members of the electorate, the Labour party according to the BBC is unelectable, dead, over, finished and a complete waste of space. Events in London are irrelevant when compared to the monumental disaster suffered by Labour in the regions and so events in London do not need to be reported as anything other than a meaningless side-show. (more…)

March 26, 2016

Wrong, wrong, wrong

Via theguardian.com

Via theguardian.com

If we accept the old Spanish proverb that suggests a wise man is capable of changing his mind but a fool never will, I hereby tender my wisdom credentials by conceding that for a number of years I have been completely wrong about Iain Duncan Smith.

This damascene moment of realisation coincides with other glaring errors now mercifully reversed and corrected. I can only offer heartfelt apologies for years of snide invective, defamation, grubby insults and ignorant left-wing dogma based on the politics of envy. (more…)

February 22, 2016

Patriots unleashed

Via Stefan Rousseau Reuters

Via Stefan Rousseau Reuters

With just four short months to go, preparations for the summer solstice have hit fever pitch with the announcement of a self-selected all-England Morris Dancing team to challenge the world. The six most honest, intelligent, hard-working and photogenic synchronised handkerchief wavers have finally stepped out from the shadow of collective ministerial responsibility and can now campaign for patriotism unfettered, un-gagged and, if the first 24 hour hours is anything to go by, more than a little unhinged. With Boris Johnson sewing flowers into his hat and strapping bells to his knees and elbows, English Morris Dancing is certain to enjoy a tumultuous resurgence. (more…)

February 18, 2016

Witney hold `em

Via Getty Images Alamy

Via Getty Images Alamy

Even if we disregard the blatant lies, the avarice, the duplicity, the arrogance and the sheer incompetence and if we forget the broken pledges, promises, pleas and piffle and if we ignore the bluff, double-bluff and triple-bluff, it is still possible to feel some sympathy for the Rt Hon David Cameron MP. It cannot be easy for a two-bit chancer, snake oil salesman and card-shark to invite himself to the biggest crap game in Europe and expect to be taken seriously. (more…)

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