The Plastic Hippo

July 16, 2017

Tears of a clown

Only a complete fool would dare to suggest that extracting the fifth largest economy on the planet from the largest single market on Earth would be a simple undertaking and such a daunting task would probably freeze the blood of even the most skilful of negotiators. To similarly imply that the still just about United Kingdom remaining within the European Union can be achieved without endless rancour, hostility and the potential for civil unrest is as credible as a sexed-up dodgy dossier as a justification for war. Given that the set of negotiations to remove the UK from the EU are perhaps the most significant and consequential of dialogues since the Second World War, Her Majesty`s government seem intent on making a complete and utter hash of the whole thing.

We need only to consider those entrusted with the process of negotiation. David Davis is to competence what Liam Fox is to honesty and Boris Johnson possesses all the tact and diplomacy of a hormonal Gloucestershire Old Spot boar. It is almost as if Her Majesty`s government, as usual saying one thing and meaning another, wants the negotiations to trail on out towards infinity and then fail and then start the process all over again. Buying time is as high on the agenda as buying parliamentary votes in the desperate hope of clinging to power. (more…)

June 14, 2017

Saint Theresa

Via homedefence.uk.com

There might just be a logical if difficult to grasp reason for the political instability we now face and it might just transpire that this reverse but credible logic will result in Theresa May being judged by history as being the greatest ever British Prime Minister.

Under the harsh spotlight of electoral catastrophe, it is easy to dismiss Mrs May as being an inept, shallow, duplicitous, vainglorious, cowardly, patronising, ignorant, bungling, one-dimensional, deceitful, arrogant, pusillanimous, condescending candidate for an entire Theresa thesaurus devoted to her long time as Home Secretary and her short time as Prime Minister. This, however, would be something of an over-reaction.

Look deeper, and perhaps there is an agenda of courage, patriotism and honour to be found. (more…)

June 8, 2017

Morning has broken…it`s time


With the result of the General Election now a foregone conclusion and with a guaranteed landslide heading towards President Theresa May, the BBC can at last stop searching the streets to interview former Labour voters who will now enthusiastically cast their ballot for Mrs May because the alternative in the sickening shape of Jeremy Corbyn who is simply unelectable.

The small group of newspaper owners can relax in their off-shore havens safe in the knowledge that their editors and hacks have informed the electorate that Jeremy Corbyn is a murdering terrorist who stamps on kittens for pleasure and will sell our children in order to fund a communist invasion from planet Mars.

Having made the sensible decision to announce the only proper result of the election before the polls have opened, mainstream media and sections of social media have spared the population the tiresome and quite unnecessary chore of actually going out to vote. Even a cursory glance at the published manifestos of the political parties would make it impossible for anyone other than a complete idiot not to vote Tory. (more…)

June 5, 2017

Living in a gig economy

Filed under: Fiction — theplastichippo @ 10:35 pm
Tags: , , , ,

You are the weakest link – goodbye

It was promoted as the gig of the century with a galaxy of top artists scheduled to appear in what was intended to be a celebration and a commemoration. In a rare show of unity, global superstars were to thrill their millions of fans by singing with various voices to allow the adoring public the chance of deciding just who is the most popular act. Sadly, egos and petty jealousies got in the way.

Legends due to appear included; (more…)

June 3, 2017

Air sick


As the English language continues to gloriously expand and evolve, it has yet to create an adequate word or phrase to capture the true essence of what it means to be a spectator of political campaigning.

The German “schadenfreude” or the related “joie mauvaise” from the French describing an evil joy might explain taking pleasure at the misfortunes of others but does not quite capture the feeling of toe-curling discomfiture watching politicians dig holes armed with only sound bites and spurious facts and figures. Even the Spanish “verguenza ajena” which relates to the sublime if guilty delight of seeing total strangers making fools of themselves during episodes of vicarious embarrassment cannot fully encompass the feeling of wanting to look away even though continuing to look through fingers thrown across disbelieving eyes. The invented “freudenschade”, which cleverly flips the German original to mean expressing sorrow at the success or good fortune of other people, does not cut the linguistic mustard. The advantage of a snap election means that the inevitable gaffs, faux pas, howling examples of hysterical hypocrisy and moments of undiluted unmitigated madness are condensed into a few, brief weeks of something that has no satisfactory descriptor known within the English language. (more…)

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