The Plastic Hippo

July 16, 2017

Tears of a clown

Only a complete fool would dare to suggest that extracting the fifth largest economy on the planet from the largest single market on Earth would be a simple undertaking and such a daunting task would probably freeze the blood of even the most skilful of negotiators. To similarly imply that the still just about United Kingdom remaining within the European Union can be achieved without endless rancour, hostility and the potential for civil unrest is as credible as a sexed-up dodgy dossier as a justification for war. Given that the set of negotiations to remove the UK from the EU are perhaps the most significant and consequential of dialogues since the Second World War, Her Majesty`s government seem intent on making a complete and utter hash of the whole thing.

We need only to consider those entrusted with the process of negotiation. David Davis is to competence what Liam Fox is to honesty and Boris Johnson possesses all the tact and diplomacy of a hormonal Gloucestershire Old Spot boar. It is almost as if Her Majesty`s government, as usual saying one thing and meaning another, wants the negotiations to trail on out towards infinity and then fail and then start the process all over again. Buying time is as high on the agenda as buying parliamentary votes in the desperate hope of clinging to power. (more…)

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June 22, 2017

Queen`s speech – second draft

Via elleuk.com


From: Cabinet Office and Prime Minister`s Office, 10 Downing Street
Part of: Government transparency and accountability
Content: Queen`s Speech 2017 first draft for Her Majesty`s input
From: Buckingham Palace
Content: Queen`s Speech 2017 second draft including Her Majesty`s input
Her Majesty`s most gracious speech to both Houses of Parliament.

“My Lords and Members of the House of Commons,”
If you think for a moment that I intent to drag out all of the horses and all of the men down to your tawdry waste of time you are mistaken. Philip has made it perfectly clear that he will not be attending and I will probably drive myself over in one of the Land Rovers on my way to Ascot. I give you fair warning that if that appalling little man Dennis Skinner makes any sarcastic comment then he will find himself mucking out at Sandringham for the rest of the summer. (more…)

June 14, 2017

Saint Theresa

Via homedefence.uk.com

There might just be a logical if difficult to grasp reason for the political instability we now face and it might just transpire that this reverse but credible logic will result in Theresa May being judged by history as being the greatest ever British Prime Minister.

Under the harsh spotlight of electoral catastrophe, it is easy to dismiss Mrs May as being an inept, shallow, duplicitous, vainglorious, cowardly, patronising, ignorant, bungling, one-dimensional, deceitful, arrogant, pusillanimous, condescending candidate for an entire Theresa thesaurus devoted to her long time as Home Secretary and her short time as Prime Minister. This, however, would be something of an over-reaction.

Look deeper, and perhaps there is an agenda of courage, patriotism and honour to be found. (more…)

June 8, 2017

Morning has broken…it`s time


With the result of the General Election now a foregone conclusion and with a guaranteed landslide heading towards President Theresa May, the BBC can at last stop searching the streets to interview former Labour voters who will now enthusiastically cast their ballot for Mrs May because the alternative in the sickening shape of Jeremy Corbyn who is simply unelectable.

The small group of newspaper owners can relax in their off-shore havens safe in the knowledge that their editors and hacks have informed the electorate that Jeremy Corbyn is a murdering terrorist who stamps on kittens for pleasure and will sell our children in order to fund a communist invasion from planet Mars.

Having made the sensible decision to announce the only proper result of the election before the polls have opened, mainstream media and sections of social media have spared the population the tiresome and quite unnecessary chore of actually going out to vote. Even a cursory glance at the published manifestos of the political parties would make it impossible for anyone other than a complete idiot not to vote Tory. (more…)

May 26, 2017

Which side are you on?

Via India Express and Reuters

I have to admit that until Monday evening, I had never heard of Ariana Grande and even now, more than 72 hours later, I remain completely unfamiliar with her work but recognise that her talent and status make her important as an icon and role model for adolescent girls and various other sections of society we are happy to place in pigeon holes. Sadly, for all her riches, fame and adulation, Ariana Grande will be remembered for giving a concert in Manchester that ended with the murders of children who only wanted to see their idol perform.

Each barbaric atrocity that takes the lives of innocents brings out the very best and the darkest worst of human nature. Again and again the emergency services rush towards horrific catastrophe without a thought of danger for themselves and overcome the human instinct to run away from harm. Instead, they provided rescue, care and comfort to total strangers. (more…)

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