Morning has broken…it`s time

With the result of the General Election now a foregone conclusion and with a guaranteed landslide heading towards President Theresa May, the BBC can at last stop searching the streets to interview former Labour voters who will now enthusiastically cast their ballot for Mrs May because the alternative in the sickening shape of Jeremy Corbyn who is simply unelectable.

The small group of newspaper owners can relax in their off-shore havens safe in the knowledge that their editors and hacks have informed the electorate that Jeremy Corbyn is a murdering terrorist who stamps on kittens for pleasure and will sell our children in order to fund a communist invasion from planet Mars.

Having made the sensible decision to announce the only proper result of the election before the polls have opened, mainstream media and sections of social media have spared the population the tiresome and quite unnecessary chore of actually going out to vote. Even a cursory glance at the published manifestos of the political parties would make it impossible for anyone other than a complete idiot not to vote Tory.

Banned Aid

Via b3ta.com

It is difficult to decide what is the more entertaining aspect of an uncoiling election campaign; the hilarious posturing of repulsive and thoroughly nasty politicians braying their saintliness or the increasingly ridiculous and totally unachievable promises being made.

Labour cannot possibly provide free school meals for all primary school children by charging VAT on private schools fees and are bare-faced liars to suggest that this unwarranted attack on rich people forced to choose between a third annual holiday and the ritual humiliation of their offspring is fully funded. They would need to remove the charitable status awarded to the schools like Eton which operates as a business rather than a charity nurturing privileged toffs born expecting power.

Street crime

The trauma, anxiety and adverse effects caused by street crime, particularly robbery, is dependent upon the psychological resilience and the physical and emotional health of the victim. Although each crime is unique and the reactions of victims may vary, there are common trends that apply to most victims of crime both during the robbery itself and the aftermath of the crisis.

Many victims report a sense of unreality as the crime is being perpetrated and in the moment find it difficult to believe that another human being is actually robbing them of valuable possessions. The initial instinct is to cling onto valuables with dear life until the realisation that direct or implied violence might threaten dear life itself. In retrospect, a robbery that in reality might last for seconds seems to last for hours as the emotional calamity is played out. The acute stress response sometimes characterised as “fight or flight” forces a split-second conflict between obvious feelings of anger and fear. Most targets of street crime tend to abandon possessions when faced directly by violence and threats of violence and fear almost always holds sway over anger.

Zacked

Do you mean that the plebs actually drink this stuff?

There is something irresistibly delicious in witnessing a pompous, privileged, and ultimately pathological politician unceremoniously dumped by a savvy electorate. Frank Zacharias Robin “Zac” Goldsmith is the latest arrogant yet complacent buffoon to be subject to the will of the people; a people who are much better off for seeing the back of him.

The 1997 General Election was defined by the “Portillo Moment” when, in the wee small hours, the scale of the Conservative defeat became horribly clear. Later, in 2015, when Douglas Alexander and the now ubiquitous Ed Balls were voted off by their judges, the scale of the Conservative victory became obvious. Equally fascinating was the sight and sound of Liberal Democrat collaborators like Danny Alexander, Vince Cable, Ed Davey, Simon Hughes and David Laws being given the old heave-ho and thus confining their political party to the final reduction on the beyond its sell by date shelf. But the sublime pleasure derived from watching the odious Esther McVey and the repellent George Galloway being given their marching orders proved to be the most joyous of all hook slinging directives. The boy Goldsmith now joins the ranks of failed and misplaced ambition not once, but twice.

Banana split

You might be forgiven for thinking that after 116 years of banging on about how unity is strength; the Labour Party might just have grasped something approaching an understanding of what unity actually is. Now with more than 500,000 members, the Labour Party resembles the universe at about a nanosecond after the Big Bang. There are slightly less than 500,000 bits and pieces moving at slightly less than the speed of light in just about 500,000 different directions. Unity, in Labour`s case, is the strength of a black hole pulling everything towards oblivion.