The Plastic Hippo

May 10, 2017

Rubbish

Sally Cogley image via Sally Cogley

As the BBC announces details of its proposed election coverage, critics of the corporation are again accusing the state broadcaster of political bias due to its refusal to acknowledge Ms Sally Cogley of Galston, East Ayrshire as the only credible and legitimate loyal opposition. Having already decided the outcome of the general election taking place on June 8th, senior editors and correspondents at BBC News and Current Affairs are being criticised for ignoring a new mould-breaking force in UK politics and not allowing a platform for the voice of the people, Ms Sally Cogley of Galston, East Ayrshire. (more…)

April 3, 2017

Rock on

Barbarity

Not since David Cameron infamously misplaced his child following an embarrassing photo opportunity in a pub has a British Prime Minister so spectacularly lost sight of a vulnerable dependent. By forgetting to mention the fate of poor little Gibraltar in her infamous letter-signing photo opportunity and according to some of the more excitable Tories still allowed out in public, Theresa May is prepared to wage war against Spain in order to defend the British Overseas Territory famous for its verminous Barbary macaques, crooked shell companies, tax avoidance and on-line gambling rackets.

This latest nonsense comes from Michael now Lord Howard who is only memorable as a former Leader of the Conservative Party because the rather odd Ann Widdecombe thought there was “something of the night” about this Welsh son of a Romanian migrant. It only took four days of swinging on the curtains, scratching table legs and eating the corner of the carpet in sheer joy before some Tories mistakenly thought the phrase “triggering Article 50” means starting a European war. (more…)

April 1, 2017

April fool

Cottingley Fairies


The art and elegance of successful prank should involve at least a little skill and any triumphant hoax, however improbable, should be able fool basic human life forms that have managed to evolve into something that is not quite a complete moron. Idiots will believe anything if it is presented with gravitas and a straight face but those with even the dimmest spark of rationality are more difficult to win over without the thought that however ridiculous the hokum might be, there is still a remote possibility that the ruse might actually be true.

Thus we have Sir Arthur Conan Doyle believing that cardboard fairies in Yorkshire were real and sections of the BBC audience believed that spaghetti grows on trees. It seems that Paul McCartney died at the height of Beatle mania, an alien autopsy took place at Roswell and corn circles were not extraterrestrial landing sites but the product of two bored blokes, four planks of wood and a few lengths of rope. Orson Wells was only fooling when he frightened the life out of radio listeners with his adaptation of The War of the Worlds, Piltdown Man once walked in Sussex and the Daily Mail proved once and for all the existence of the Loch Ness Monster in a famous but faked photograph. (more…)

March 15, 2017

Get in the sea


It has only been three of four days but it seems that the sea swimmers of Clevedon featured on the BBC News ident have finally taken off their bathing caps and thrown in the proverbial beach towel. It would appear that, according to the BBC, these hardy souls who brave English coastal waters in the depth of winter represent both the “diversity” and the “oneness” of the Great British public and are ideal harbingers of our daily news. (more…)

March 8, 2017

The End of Days

Filed under: History,Media,Politics,Rights,Society — theplastichippo @ 4:36 am
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Image via Mattel

With not enough hours in the day to find or even keep up with real news and every day of the week bringing blizzards of falsehoods and distractions, thank goodness there are designated days, weeks, months and years of commemoration to keep us focussed on the inevitable passage of time. However, with so much to remember, the calendar can become congested requiring important dates to cosy up and time share.

During the International Year of Sustainable Tourism for Development, Kingston enjoys the honour of being the only city on the banks of the River Hull to be designated UK City of Culture for the whole of 2017. Hull will prosper from the legacy of London based “creatives” using the funding to recite Chaucer to groups of bewildered Kalahari Bushmen and then take the money and run. Like Derry-Londonderry before it, Kingston-upon-Hull is so good that they named it twice

The quiet dignity of National Bed Month might be overshadowed by Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month but half way through Fairtrade Fortnight we can still commemorate the importance of British Pie Week, National Apprenticeships Week, Endometriosis Week and National Conversation Week. During February we had Dignity Action Day, World Cancer Day, National Libraries Day, Send a Card to a Friend Day, Safer Internet Day, Toothache Day, National Pizza Day, Singles Awareness Day, World Encephalitis Day and World Thinking Day as well as Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence Awareness Week, Eating Disorders Awareness Week and numerous other special times of random kindness and charitable giving. (more…)

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