The Plastic Hippo

August 3, 2016

Honours among thieves

mutley-21
It is probably just a simple oversight or a minor administrative error or an honest to goodness human mistake but after days and days of waiting for the postman to arrive with confirmation, it seems than my name does not appear on David Cameron`s resignation honours list conveniently leaked to a Murdoch newspaper.

The fact that I am eminently qualified to be ennobled and thus elevated above the hoi polloi makes the omission even more inexplicable. I tirelessly supported the “Remain” campaign by bunging a load of cash at it. I instructed my newspaper editors to inform the public that my opinion is the only infallible truth and I defended democracy by bunging a load of cash to the political party that best serves my interests. I opened a Free School and used the funding to pay off the mortgages on my property portfolio and placed impoverish children in solitary confinement until their scrounging parents paid the lunch bill. I opened a chain of Academies and removed impoverished children and disruptive pupils displaying so-called special needs determined to spoil my reputation as an evangelical philanthropist. (more…)

November 9, 2015

Bad company

Filed under: History,Media,Politics — theplastichippo @ 2:00 am
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Via politicshome.com

Via politicshome.com

I know that my disgraceful behaviour and offensive lack of respect has caused incalculable distress and justifiable outrage. I have brought shame upon my family; I have let myself down and I have let the nation down. No possible apology is even remotely acceptable and I can only throw myself at the mercy of my betters in the vain hope of forgiveness. There are no excuses or vacuous invented justifications; I did what I did and I`m very, very sorry. (more…)

June 18, 2014

My enemy`s enemy

Filed under: History,Media,Politics,World — theplastichippo @ 4:01 am
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Via johnpilger.com

Via johnpilger.com

Diplomacy, according to Winston Churchill, is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions. Theodore Roosevelt was more pragmatic and suggested that “if you`ve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow”. Tony Blair, however, suggests that we should carry a great big stick and shout very, very loudly.

Former Prime Ministers usually do the decent thing by disappearing off into their dotage leaving memories of bygone days and are only occasionally wheeled out in public like some creepy uncle at a family funeral or wedding to make everybody else feel uncomfortable. Not so with former Prime Minister Tony Blair. (more…)

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