The Plastic Hippo

January 12, 2017

Go compare

Filed under: Cooking,History,Literature,Music,Politics — theplastichippo @ 3:12 am
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Hello...goodbye

Hello…goodbye

Unless you are considering a purchase of, say, car insurance, an aubergine, a refrigerator, a holiday or a selection of racy under garments, arbitrary comparison can sometimes be futile. Obviously a soft aubergine should be avoided as should a refrigerator that keeps things warm and a vacation to the Sahara should not be taken if one is heat averse. Similarly, in a northern European maritime temperate climate, nothing beats a pair of Damart Long Johns when the central heating is on the blink.

Comparing inanimate objects might be of some value but comparing subjective taste and preference can be a futile exercise especially when asked to name a favourite. It might be possible to make a binary choice between Judi Dench and Meryl Streep, the Beatles or the Stones, Oasis or Blur or (for younger viewers) Ed Sheeran or Jack Garratt but to prefer one to the other imposes an artificial hierarchy. Shakespeare is not necessarily “better” than Christopher Marlowe; Rod Hull and Emu are not necessarily funnier than Bernie Clifton and his comedy ostrich and Lobster Thermidor served with a chilled 2005 Coche-DuryCorton-Charlemagne Grande Cru does not necessarily taste nicer than egg and chips accompanied by a bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale. (more…)

November 23, 2016

Our man in Diego Garcia

Filed under: Fiction,Law,Media,Politics,World — theplastichippo @ 2:30 am
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Alice and the Dodo by John Tenniel

Alice and the Dodo by John Tenniel

November 2017 – in a surprise move announced by the Foreign Office, former leader of UKIP and renown international diplomat Sir Nigel Farage, PhD, OBE, VC and bar, has been appointed as the next Commissioner of the British Indian Ocean Territory of the Chagos Archipelago. His previous position as Governor General of the Falkland Islands came to an end after 100 per cent of Falkland islanders voted to make Spanish the official language, rename the islands Las Malvinas, accept Argentine citizenship and pledge alliance to whatever government happens to be meeting in Buenos Aries. Sir Nigel achieved this remarkable feat just six months after arriving in Port Stanley.

Prior to successfully strutting around in a big hat covered in feathers, Lord Farage of Brussels was appointed as UK ambassador to the Cayman Islands by former President Donald Trump but when ex-President Trump was impeached on charges of tax evasion even before his inauguration and his replacement ex-President Pence was declared clinically insane after accusing his pet lizard of being bisexual, the current President Michelle Obama removed man of the people Farage from the tax haven and Brussels and removed his fingers from the till.

Sources close to the new Foreign Secretary, Gina Miller, have denied that pressure from the BBC, ITN and Channel 4 to move Farage as far away from their news studios as possible influenced the decision to post him to the Indian Ocean and it is thought that other shortlisted locations including St Helena and the Moon would not necessarily deter the failed people`s champion from shameless attention seeking and a desperate need for lots of money for doing absolutely nothing (more…)

November 21, 2016

Siren`s song

Filed under: Media,Politics,Rights,Society — theplastichippo @ 2:17 am
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Pandora`s Box

Pandora`s Box

There are two golden rules that any politician blessed with wisdom and integrity should adhere to; in victory, avoid arrogant gloating and in defeat, never ever describe the electorate as being stupid. Sadly, political wisdom and any semblance of integrity have packed their bags and said goodbye to the circus leaving the winners in gleeful hysteria and the defeated moaning and whinging at the unfairness of it all. There was a time when it needed an elected term of four or five years to discover that a candidate is a liar, a cheat, a fraudster, a racist, homophobic misogynist bigot who cannot be trusted under any circumstance. Remarkably, it seems that these character failings are promoted as reasons for vote for some unspeakable bully and has resulted in actual electoral victories. We live, so we are told, in a “post truth” era. (more…)

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