The Plastic Hippo

May 12, 2016

The representation of the people

Via M Bird of 82 Walsall Road, Aldridge

Via M Bird of 82 Walsall Road, Aldridge

Although it is tempting to tar them all with one, broad, sordid brush, it would be quite wrong to consider all politicians as nasty, self-serving, mendacious, opportunistic parasites. Given natural selection, the possibility of some form of innate human decency and the hope that bad people are eventually found out, there must surely be in existence some politicians who are not complete and utter bastards. With political hypocrisy currently off the scale that measures a taking of breathe and outlandish drivel being spouted as if it is in some way remotely connected to anything other than absolute garbage, a peek into the quiet backwaters of local government reveals an illuminating insight into the good, the bad and the very, very ugly. (more…)

May 19, 2015

Walsall

Walsall Arboretum

For many blindingly obvious reasons, it was an absolute joy to spend last week away from the United Kingdom. As the aching disappointment at the outcome of the general election gave way to abject terror at what is likely to happen to this country now that Cameron has an actual mandate, boarding an aircraft and flying away has never been so pleasurable.

Mercifully missing out on endless post mortems, excuses and recriminations; the end of the road for the Liberal Democrats, the Labour Party tearing itself apart again and the Farage creature making a complete fool of himself by resigning and then not resigning, the overseas media hardly reported the tawdry UK bun fight. The only evidence I saw was in a crowded bar as the barista flicked through the channels looking for the Real Madrid Juventus game. He paused on a news report that showed smug Tory ministers banging the table as Cameron entered to chair the first meeting of his new cabinet. My heart sank and my flesh crawled. Juventus held on for a draw and I held on to the thought of not coming back. (more…)

July 25, 2014

The people have spoken

Unlikely Strange Kippers via ukipwalsall.org

Unlikely Strange Kippers via ukipwalsall.org

Well, to be precise, 2250 people have spoken which is about 22 per cent of those eligible to vote in the Walsall Birchills-Leamore by election.

As political earthquakes go, the Labour victory is right up there along with Westminster MPs voting for their own pay rise, Ian Shires spouting nonsense and Mike Bird being an embarrassment to the borough every time he opens his mouth to the media. The turnout and the Labour majority of 365 might be down but the new councillor had a tough act to follow and the circumstances that necessitated the by election could not be sadder. Tim Oliver worked tirelessly for this moment and the poignancy of him not being alive to enjoy it is a tragedy. But congratulations to Chris Jones on becoming Labour`s 30th elected member on the current council.

The unverified result is:
Labour 1075
Tory 710
Unlikely Strange Kipper 445
English Deluded 20

By bringing the full force of his charm, charisma and intelligence to bear, the Unlikely Strange Kipper managed to significantly reduce the Farage vote and converted a self-proclaimed political earthquake to the silent flatulence of stinking, wet bigotry. Our sympathies must go to the English Deluded for having such a small circle of family and friends. (more…)

April 13, 2014

Careless in the community

Telegraph.co.uk

Telegraph.co.uk

In imagined nostalgia, there was a time when a community was defined by its pub, church, post office and school and life in merry old England revolved from cradle to grave with reassuring certainty. In present reality, however, dark forces are at work hatching dastardly plots intended to subvert our culture by infiltrating communities with hard line, fundamentalist extremists hell-bent on imposing warped dogma and alien ideology.

The pub is now a Tesco Express and the church is falling down but remains a lucrative long-term real estate investment opportunity. The post office is long gone and has been replaced with a food bank next to a loan shark. The school is now an Academy named after an unfamiliar sponsor and the community is now defined by hedge funds rather than hedgerows. (more…)

December 13, 2013

Dick Whittington meets Aladdin

Banksy rickshaw

Banksy rickshaw

This is obviously only a personal opinion, but I find pantomime vulgar, boring and profoundly unfunny. I have no interest in the Mayor of London or his wretched cat or the tawdry tale of Widow Twankey Cameron peddling the bodily fluids of pigs in Chinese laundries. Innuendo is best left to those who know which endo the “ue” goes in. (more…)

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