The Plastic Hippo

March 26, 2013

Bless the weather

Filed under: Walsall — theplastichippo @ 3:45 am

Hatherton Lake

Hatherton Lake

Sit down and take a deep breath; Walsall Council made a mistake.

As the enormity of this shocking news becomes clear, Walsall residents with a sensitive disposition are urged to keep calm, stay strong and be assured that those responsible for the mistake will face the full force of retribution and merciless punishment. For the first time ever in the history of human habitation in this fair borough, an error has occurred that will leave a permanent stain on the impeccable and infallible reputation of Walsall Metropolitan Borough Council. A person, or persons unknown, decided not the grit the roads when it was snowing.

But fear not; this indefensible aberration will not go unpunished. Those responsible for embarrassing our beloved, wise and recently financially enhance politburo will be severely dealt with and will soon learn that a mistake is not acceptable. These errant and lazy gritting crews and their counterproductive managers will be sent to Siberia to re-educate them in skills required to look up at the sky and shout “stop snowing”.

Our elected representatives, especially the leader of our local Liberal Democrats, are quite right to question why gritting roads around schools does not act like magic fairy dust to dispel the evil of snow and allow teachers and pupils to levitate into their seats of learning. He may wish to defend the innocent motorists who without any ability to drive to the weather conditions, are being placed in a position of danger because they drive like morons. Clearly, the delivery of teachers, children and education in schools is dependent on the presence of great big yellow Lorries chucking out salt. The bleeding hearts of parents, teachers and children are insignificant when compared to the need to drive at 50 in a 20 zone. At least the Arboretum junction is more predictable as it is easier to negotiate when your vehicle is moving sideways.

The Council decision that caused road chaos, according to the Walsall Labour Group, was because of council inaction rather than meteorology and it seems that unprecedented climatic events are both political and the responsibility of the poor sods out driving snow ploughs in the middle of the night. It is of vital importance that everyone in the borough of Walsall should vote Labour because under a Labour administration, it will never snow again, the roads will be forever clear and the weather will be warm and sunny. This will result in members of the gritting crews having enough time on their hands to become Labour councillors or even press officers for the Walsall Labour Group.

Our wonderful council has, at least, had the decency to own up to a mistake but the transport Muppet Tom Ansell descends into Dadaism when he was quoted in the awful E and S saying:
“We are admitting that, yes, we could have gone out earlier. We understand residents` frustration and anxiety when they compare Walsall to other areas. We do not claim to get it right every time and we are only human.”

He added that Walsall residents had refused to move their cars in order to allow the process of gritting. One has to ask the question; did Walsall residents actively block the Queen`s Highway to prevent the spreading of grit? If so, why did the private company that dishes out parking tickets for profit descend upon the scene and screw the bastards. Perhaps they could not access their own vehicles because of the snow. The piece in the Excess and Swastika had an image of an overturned gritter truck on Wentnor Bank in, of all places, Shropshire. Mercifully, no injuries other than deflated pride have been reported and on the dreadful Sunday that, according to the Walsall Labour Group, saw unprecedented dangerous road conditions, no road traffic accidents took place according to the local Walsall plod.

It seems a bit of a shame that when the whole fabric of society is being destroyed, those that scream and shout about gritting, bin collection and school closure do not devote their energies to challenging the melt down once the snow has gone.

We all make mistakes.


  1. Hippo

    Not by any means a post that would make it into my top ten of Hippo efforts. Believe me, there are many jostling for a place.

    It snowed, there was a balls-up. Questions will be asked and postures assumed. The singing skull that is Tom Ansell, or Ace Kefford as he was once known, makes an abject apology.

    What else is there?

    You really should take a chill pill.

    The Realist

    Comment by The Realist — March 26, 2013 @ 1:21 pm | Reply

    • To be honest, Realist, as comments go that was pretty mediocre, even by your 500 shades of beige casual slacks standards.

      Comment by BrownhillsBob — March 26, 2013 @ 5:27 pm | Reply

      • Bob

        Why the insults?

        I will bow to no-one in my support for the Hippo, his general take on matters and his brilliant, erudite and informed writing.

        In this particular case, I think that a mountain is being made from a molehill and tried to say so.

        It is entirely your prerogative to agree or disagree with my view and the way in which it is expressed. To immediately resort to personal abuse, while at the same time dismissing my other contributions to this site is unnecessary, unwarranted and unfair.

        As you know, I regularly respond to the Hippo and not just by routinely and blandly flagging ‘Liked This’. This is because the topics, the judgements and the quality of writing stimulate a response.

        As you also know, I have contributed to other sites, including yours. However, given that you obviously do not have any regard for my efforts, I will not trouble your own worthy blog again.

        The Realist

        ps for the record, I have never owned a pair of beige casual slacks and have never read 50 Shades of Grey. I also do not wear socks with sandals, ride a cycle or obsess about the weather.

        Comment by The Realist — March 27, 2013 @ 11:42 am

  2. Reblogged this on The Re-blog Blog.

    Comment by 7rin — March 26, 2013 @ 7:50 pm | Reply

  3. I’d argue it wasn’t even a mistake. It’s a judgement call, walking the line between wasting council tax gritting when it won’t work, and being in the shit for not gritting. Oh, and then being criticised for not using the local papers, TV, and radio to tell people, despite there being no local Sunday paper, and that the TV and radio may not be interested.

    I’ll happily criticise Walsall MBC any day of the week, but this was a shitstorm kicked up for political game-playing bullshit.

    Comment by stymaster — March 26, 2013 @ 8:31 pm | Reply

  4. I was told that this blog is the best source of online political comment in Walsall. If that’s true the town is fucked. Talk about a boys’ pissing competition! Why you are wasting your time with this is beyond the understanding of any sane woman. For God’s sake, it’s just the weather. The Hippo complains that there are more important things but then sits down and writes a blog about it. Have you nothing better to do?

    The Realist points out that out and Brownhills Bob’s answer is a bullying attempt at sarcasm – I notice his latest blog is about a bus time table! The Sytmaster ignores the council has admitted its mistake as he tries to elevate it to the level of Watergate.

    Next week people face the threat of eviction because of the bedroom tax. Take your hands off your cocks boys and stop playing with your egos.

    Comment by Hannah — March 27, 2013 @ 3:42 pm | Reply

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