The Plastic Hippo

June 23, 2015

It`s called a bobble, Jonathan

Filed under: Media,Society,Sport,World — theplastichippo @ 4:10 am
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England victory via Getty Images

England victory via Getty Images

There comes a time even in the most secure of marriages, when a husband is caught bang to rights indulging in a furtive guilty pleasure. Thus, with more shame than apology, I found myself confessing that I was staying up into the early hours of the morning hunched over a computer watching groups of young, fit women throwing themselves into intense physical activity. Before attracting the attention of divorce lawyers or finding my few meagre possessions flung into the front garden, I should point out that I have become addicted to the football being played at the Women`s World Cup currently taking place in Canada. (more…)

May 30, 2015

They think it`s all over

Filed under: Media,Sport,World — theplastichippo @ 2:00 am
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It is now

It is now

Not everything is clear cut and straight forward or a simple choice between right and wrong. For every dodgy refereeing decision, disallowed goal, off side flag and waved red card there are always two, or many more, sides to the story. Consider the newly re-elected President of FIFA; the remarkably resilient Joseph S Blatter.

Ignore the hysterical bellowing from the western media and imagine for a moment a man of vision and integrity that has delivered unbridled joy to billions of human beings across the planet. Smiling orphans in the developing world consider him a saint for bunging loads of cash in the direction of local sports ministers and territorial FIFA representatives in a fair exchange of great wealth for presidential votes. Imagine this great man as a victim of a Zionist plot to oust him before he ousts Israel from FIFA or as a victim of an elaborate CIA plot intent on ousting Vladimir Putin. (more…)

May 26, 2015

Suprise, surprise

Lucille Balls

Lucille Balls

Cor blimey, strike a light, lawks a mercy you could knock me down with a feather Mary Poppins and no mistake. As we bask in the consolidation of traditional British values of not liking foreigners and poor people very much, imagine the horror and incredulity at discovering that the banks have been acting illegally again…and again…and again. I didn`t see that one coming and I am shocked – shocked I tell you – that one or maybe two bad apples have yet again besmirched the impeccable reputation of our entrepreneurial financial wealth creators. Never mind, no harm done, lessons have been learned and it`s time to draw a line and move on. No arrests have been made. (more…)

May 2, 2015

A six day test

Via Mirrorpix

Via Mirrorpix

There comes a moment in a test match, usually just before lunch on the fourth day, when cricket fans realise that both sides have settled for a draw. With rain on the way, the art of spin replaces the raw aggression of pace and a lofted drive through extra cover or the dispatch of a bouncer with a hook over the head of deep fine leg gives way to studious back foot defence. As an American friend once observed; “What…five days and nobody won..?”

British politics was once as different to American politics as cricket is to baseball. Both certainly involve a bat, a ball and people running about but with fireworks and dancing girls at test matches and a UK election to decide between two individual human beings, the boundaries have become indistinct. The presidential candidates ambitious for number 10 are playing out for a draw by doing a lot of shouting and basically keeping their powder dry until the next test match takes place in October. (more…)

March 17, 2015

Punch drunk

Filed under: Media,Politics,Sport — theplastichippo @ 2:01 am
Tags: , , , ,
Champ

Champ

Now come on – be honest. Which of us has not been tempted to land a forceful right hook into the face of some annoying idiot that has to be endured in a common workplace? For all our professionalism and adherence to non-violence, an occasional punch-up is inevitable especially when co-workers behave in a way that is not the way we expect. I am deeply ashamed to admit that I once lamped at bloke at work so I can fully empathise with the anguish and trauma that national treasure Jeremy Clarkson must be feeling.

Chump

Chump

If we are being honest, which of us after a few drinks with some mates has been tempted to pull on the gloves and have a boxing match in the kitchen. I am deeply ashamed to admit that I have never done that even after the disgraceful episode when “someone” opened the oven door causing the Yorkshire puddings to collapse before they were ready. On that basis, I have great sympathy for national treasure Wayne Rooney who suffers from mates prepared to film the rumble in the kitchen and then flog the footage to the tabloids for money. (more…)

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