The Plastic Hippo

February 22, 2017

Who ate all the pies?

Filed under: Media,Sport — theplastichippo @ 3:05 am
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Image via BBC Sport

Image via BBC Sport

When the manufactured scandal has blown over and the dust has settled, the name of Sutton United`s reserve goalkeeper will return mercifully to deserved obscurity in about the same time as it takes to invent another scandal for the back pages of scurrilous tabloid rags.

In case you were not paying attention, the big story on Monday was not the Iraqi Army`s assault on Mosul or the Commons debating the Trump visit or the Lords debating Article 50 or even the sad death of Steve Hewlett which marked yet another loss of principled, intelligent and valued journalism. No, the big story was a fat man eating a pie at a football match. (more…)

December 14, 2016

Rogue One

Filed under: Media,Politics,Rights,Society,Sport,Transport,World — theplastichippo @ 11:50 pm
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Sky Walkers Crisps

Sky Walkers Crisps

When something outrageous or provocative is broadcast on television or radio, there is a simple solution that could avoid a dangerous increase in blood pressure, impotent fury and a desire to hit the domestic appliance with an unusually heavy object. The answer is easy; change channel or switch the bloody thing off.

If the irrational ranting of an anonymous blogger pretending to be a polypropylene even-toed ungulate river horse causes outrage of such incandescence that you are moved to quote the Daily Mail as fact, do not read the blog and look instead at pictures of cats. There is, by the way, no need for any Mollie Sugden references here thank you very much.

If you take umbrage at a total stranger on Twitter or Facebook and feel the need to threaten them with rape and or beheading then the problem might be residing in you rather than in the opinions you disagree with. Try getting out more and maybe attempt to find a girlfriend or, indeed, a boyfriend or, as a short-term measure, another actual human being capable of an actual conversation that aspires to more than basic grunting. (more…)

December 4, 2016

Zacked

Do you mean that the plebs actually drink this stuff?

Do you mean that the plebs actually drink this stuff?

There is something irresistibly delicious in witnessing a pompous, privileged, and ultimately pathological politician unceremoniously dumped by a savvy electorate. Frank Zacharias Robin “Zac” Goldsmith is the latest arrogant yet complacent buffoon to be subject to the will of the people; a people who are much better off for seeing the back of him.

The 1997 General Election was defined by the “Portillo Moment” when, in the wee small hours, the scale of the Conservative defeat became horribly clear. Later, in 2015, when Douglas Alexander and the now ubiquitous Ed Balls were voted off by their judges, the scale of the Conservative victory became obvious. Equally fascinating was the sight and sound of Liberal Democrat collaborators like Danny Alexander, Vince Cable, Ed Davey, Simon Hughes and David Laws being given the old heave-ho and thus confining their political party to the final reduction on the beyond its sell by date shelf. But the sublime pleasure derived from watching the odious Esther McVey and the repellent George Galloway being given their marching orders proved to be the most joyous of all hook slinging directives. The boy Goldsmith now joins the ranks of failed and misplaced ambition not once, but twice. (more…)

September 30, 2016

Innocence

Via thesimpsons

Via thesimpsons

There was a time when hard work, integrity, honesty, diligence and morality were considered as rewards in themselves for any duty, task or employment but in an age when hypocrisy and negligence are essential requirements on the job description for public office, exemption from scrutiny and responsibility are as important as financial rewards. It would seem that dismissal, either fair or unfair, is unthinkable. Resignation from any post as a result of malpractice, maladministration or malfeasance is now a half-forgotten relic of some bygone age. Corruption can expect to be ignored, incompetence attracts reward and being caught red handed on the fiddle can be explained away as a simple human error.

With an elite now in a constant state of denial regarding culpability and trust, it comes as no surprise to find a bang to rights bent England football manager offering “entrapment” as a defence against being greedy, stupid and corrupt. Mercifully, he parts company amicably with a meagre pay off of one million after one game. Similarly, we discover that the world`s best cyclist suffers from asthma (more…)

August 31, 2016

Fairness, justice and wishful thinking

Filed under: Media,Politics,Society,Sport,World — theplastichippo @ 3:00 am
Tags: , , , , ,
Core values

Core values

As August departs in a blaze of sunshine, with a resigned sigh we contemplate an autumn of discontent and a winter of absolute, all consuming misery. As seasons go; silly is too narrow a definition to contain the output of our noble, balanced and independent media. Based on current output, perhaps we should introduce a seasonal banding system for when politicians take August as a holiday to elevate silliness beyond the merely plain daft. In front of every silver lining is a bloody great big black cloud.

Super silly season would cover or, indeed, uncover any of the nonsense coming out of France at the moment. Mega silly season could define the USA in an election year and silly beyond the point of reasonable belief would characterise the actions of Labour Party members during another leadership election and the media`s utterly bizarre reporting of a political party running out of feet to shoot. We can, however, take comfort in traditional silly season hokum. (more…)

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