The Plastic Hippo

November 15, 2016

Rat in mi kitchen

Filed under: Birmingham,Media,Music,Politics,Rights,Society — theplastichippo @ 4:05 am
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ub40Just when I thought that things could not possibly become any more horrific, problematic or deeply depressing, a rat has apparently taken up residence in the family home. About a week ago, perched upon the downstairs loo I became aware of a scuttling, scratching sound coming from behind the cistern. It was far too early to be the noisy neighbours from next door who tend to do their shouting and screaming after midnight and far too late for the student house on the other side who tend to finish their revels just before dawn. I finished my business and returned with a torch, a screwdriver and a substantial wooden mallet.

For weeks now, the house next door that is occupied by the noisy neighbours has been undergoing “redevelopment” to convert a normal three bedroom family home into six individual “executive style apartments”. The building contractors in their cowboy hats have disturbed a nest of rats quite separate from the slum landlord wishing to make loads of money through housing benefits paid directly from government into his tax avoiding bank account. (more…)

October 6, 2016

Lady Marmalade

Via westminsteradvisors.co.uk

Via westminsteradvisors.co.uk

Following the marvellous Conservative Party Conference in Birmingham, it has never been more obvious to any member of the voting public blessed with the ability to clutch a pencil and mark a cross, that Theresa May is the best Prime Minister that this nation has ever seen. We know this to be fact because her press secretary said so and it is her destiny to remain as Prime Minister for a glorious reign of at least a thousand years. We know this to be fact because of the number of votes she gained during the leadership election, the number of young people removed from the electoral role and with a spectacular piece of gerrymandering not seen since Gerry first Mandered, the redefining of constituency boundaries.

Even before the latest product of the Nightmare on Broad Street franchise hit the screens of Birmingham and beyond, the occasional confusion grenade was lobbed at a gullible public in order to distract from the main feature. The return of the grammar school was waved in front of Downing Street cameras as a diversion from the clueless attempts at an early withdrawal from Europe. “Oh you naughty boys,” giggled a coquettish government, “you have discovered my little secret.” (more…)

May 20, 2016

Close but no cigar

Filed under: Birmingham,Media,Politics,Transport,Walsall — theplastichippo @ 2:06 am
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First class

First class

Being blessed with merciful anonymity, the little town of Walsall seldom attracts either wanted or unwanted attention. The diurnal 15 mile tailback at Junction 10 might excite the traffic reporter at a ghastly local radio station and the occasional nail bomb lobbed at a Mosque by some deranged Eastern European neo-fascist certainly raised a few eyebrows but, in terms of global influence, Walsall is generally happy with inept local politics, average football and a minimal media profile. There are, however, certain moments when the planets align resulting in an event horizon that places Walsall at the epicentre of galactic flux. (more…)

May 5, 2016

Hurricane

Filed under: Birmingham,Dudley,Politics,Sandwell,Walsall,Wolverhampton — theplastichippo @ 2:00 am
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Michael Fish

Michael Fish

Following a generally cool start to the day, Thursday will develop into a sunny day of plenty of warm sunshine and light winds with the best of the dry weather across England and Wales and a chance of temperatures reaching as high as 20 degrees Celsius in the South-East. A weakening weather front moving south across the Scottish borders might cause an occasional shower but for the most part fine, settled and dry conditions will provide the perfect conditions to exercise a democratic duty by going out to vote in a variety of elections.

There are lots of elections to enjoy. (more…)

October 2, 2014

Taking Tiger Mountain

Via theguardian.com

Via theguardian.com

According to the BBC, if you speak your mind in Hong Kong you are a pro-democracy supporter demanding freedom but, according to the Home Secretary, if you speak your mind in the United Kingdom then you are a murderous terrorist who must be silenced. There can be no better commemoration of the imposition of a ruthless, totalitarian junta than patriotic speeches in Beijing and in Birmingham`s magnificent Symphony Hall.

In terms of simple hilarity, the 2014 Conservative Party Conference has been the most successful celebration of eye watering hypocrisy since communist China`s notorious cultural revolution. The Tory long march to the dismantling of society, the end of compassion and the destruction of common decency concluded with a stirring yet vacuous speech from the most inadequate Prime Minister in living memory. If this wide-boy survives until May it will be conclusive proof that God has a strange sense of humour. (more…)

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