The Plastic Hippo

October 22, 2016


nooseAt first glance, the story of an obscure Tory councillor creating an online petition demanding that anyone who still supports membership of the European Union be charged with treason smacks of a crude attempt at humour and is obviously a very weak joke. A second glance would confirm the hoax as the petition is in the name of a councillor Christian Holliday who represents the Burpham ward in the delightful town of Guildford. If a councillor Cruella de Winterval representing nearby Effingham had demanded the re-introduction of thumbscrews and the rack into the criminal justice system, the joke would not have been more obvious. However, a third glance reveals the treason petition story to be true and a bizarre invention called Christian Holliday actually exists and wishes to “amend the Treason Felony Act to make supporting UK membership of the EU a crime.”

It seems that the petition has been taken down and a Guildford councillor has been suspended by the local Tory party. No doubt the councillor will complain of censorship, an attack on free speech and a liberal elite conspiring to bring about the end of democracy but will then slide deservedly back into obscurity where he will not cause too much damage. That a councillor, let alone a Tory councillor, should prove to be a complete and utter idiot is not unexpected news but, as a symptom of the collective emotional breakdown currently debilitating the nation, the thought that this kind of nonsense could ever be considered as even remotely appropriate is much more troublesome. (more…)

October 20, 2016

Warp and weft

Self harm

Self harm

In those far-off heady days during the European referendum campaign, some of us hoped that the deranged musings of idiots, borderline fascists, actual racists, scaremongers and various prophets of doom would end once the British people had made their historic decision. The preposterous and obviously false claims and counter-claims from both sides cheapened the debate to the state of pointless and partisan bickering and made for a contest between an unbelievably duplicitous Remain campaign and an unbelievably duplicitous Leave campaign. Sadly, the return to common sense and the status quo of generally harmless whopping great lies has, to evoke the civil rights credentials of Prime Minister Theresa May, been a long time coming. Instead, the ravings of some very strange people which were once instantly dismissed as just a part of the comedic warp and weft of society are now being accepted as potentially valid, possibly true and even something less than a complete insult to basic humanity. (more…)

October 10, 2016

Make `em laugh



To openly gloat over the misfortunes of others, even if they happen to be the most unpleasant, hate-filled, narcissistic attention seekers to ever pollute political debate, is not big and not clever. However, when dubious politicians display their “man of the people” credentials by softening the mood with some whacky stunt, the nation and indeed the world should applaud them for giving us all a right old laugh.

So, after adopting a serious face to sincerely hope that UKIP MEP Steven Woolf makes a full recovery, we should give him a heartfelt slap on the back for being part of the funniest public punch-up since Monty Python`s fish slapping dance. We should also thank Boris Johnson for giving us an image of him gagged and bound to a chair in a locked basement somewhere in the vicinity of Whitehall to prevent him from cracking anymore jokes. Gratitude is also owed to Nigel Farage, who, after having his only policy nicked from under his nose, continues to amuse as his party falls apart amid handbag fights. But at top of the tree, lobbing comedy faecal nuggets with definitely not gay abandon sits one Donald Trump. (more…)

October 6, 2016

Lady Marmalade



Following the marvellous Conservative Party Conference in Birmingham, it has never been more obvious to any member of the voting public blessed with the ability to clutch a pencil and mark a cross, that Theresa May is the best Prime Minister that this nation has ever seen. We know this to be fact because her press secretary said so and it is her destiny to remain as Prime Minister for a glorious reign of at least a thousand years. We know this to be fact because of the number of votes she gained during the leadership election, the number of young people removed from the electoral role and with a spectacular piece of gerrymandering not seen since Gerry first Mandered, the redefining of constituency boundaries.

Even before the latest product of the Nightmare on Broad Street franchise hit the screens of Birmingham and beyond, the occasional confusion grenade was lobbed at a gullible public in order to distract from the main feature. The return of the grammar school was waved in front of Downing Street cameras as a diversion from the clueless attempts at an early withdrawal from Europe. “Oh you naughty boys,” giggled a coquettish government, “you have discovered my little secret.” (more…)

September 28, 2016

Twilight`s last gleaming

Filed under: History,Media,Politics,Rights,World — theplastichippo @ 6:05 pm
Tags: , , ,

Way back in 1992, the ubiquity of email was far from established and many employers regarded the internet as the work of the devil that had no place in a productive workplace. Working for one particular Jurassic corporation who ironically shunned all things electrical, some of us lobbied for email access as a vital commercial tool guaranteeing more communication and therefore more business and more profit. We prevailed, of course, and the IT department was expanded to include some glorious, unfathomable eccentrics to make the thing work. It was a joy to meet with them; it was like conversing with extraterrestrials. (more…)

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