The Plastic Hippo

March 8, 2017

The End of Days

Filed under: History,Media,Politics,Rights,Society — theplastichippo @ 4:36 am
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Image via Mattel

With not enough hours in the day to find or even keep up with real news and every day of the week bringing blizzards of falsehoods and distractions, thank goodness there are designated days, weeks, months and years of commemoration to keep us focussed on the inevitable passage of time. However, with so much to remember, the calendar can become congested requiring important dates to cosy up and time share.

During the International Year of Sustainable Tourism for Development, Kingston enjoys the honour of being the only city on the banks of the River Hull to be designated UK City of Culture for the whole of 2017. Hull will prosper from the legacy of London based “creatives” using the funding to recite Chaucer to groups of bewildered Kalahari Bushmen and then take the money and run. Like Derry-Londonderry before it, Kingston-upon-Hull is so good that they named it twice

The quiet dignity of National Bed Month might be overshadowed by Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month but half way through Fairtrade Fortnight we can still commemorate the importance of British Pie Week, National Apprenticeships Week, Endometriosis Week and National Conversation Week. During February we had Dignity Action Day, World Cancer Day, National Libraries Day, Send a Card to a Friend Day, Safer Internet Day, Toothache Day, National Pizza Day, Singles Awareness Day, World Encephalitis Day and World Thinking Day as well as Sexual Abuse and Sexual Violence Awareness Week, Eating Disorders Awareness Week and numerous other special times of random kindness and charitable giving. (more…)

March 1, 2017

From Russia with Love

Filed under: Fiction,History,Media,Politics — theplastichippo @ 5:06 am
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And the 45th President of the United States of America is...

And the 45th President of the United States of America is…

It is a little known but irrefutable alternative fact that secret medical experiments attempting to reverse death developed during the Cold War in the then Soviet Union are continuing under the democratically elected government of the free, fair and completely trustworthy Russian Federation.

The research into preserving life after death started innocently enough during the civil war that followed the Russian revolution of October 1917. Various attempts to create harmony by re-assembling dead Bolsheviks mixed with dead White Guard counter-revolutionaries ended in failure as did an unsuccessful revival of the Romanov family in the hope of putting them on trial for crimes against humanity. One happy by product of the endeavour resulted in Lenin leaving behind an absolutely magnificent corpse. (more…)

February 16, 2017

Combustion in the trouser department

Filed under: Faith,History,Law,Media,Politics,World — theplastichippo @ 2:00 am
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pants-on-fire-1

In primary classrooms, Sunday schools, Madrassas, Gurdwaras, Synagogues, Temples and nurseries across the planet the message is simple; if you tell a lie you will always be found out.

In corrupt business organisations those who are dishonest will always face accountability depending upon financial confidentiality and a variable definition of what is in the public interest.

In politics, honest men and women who have been quoted out of context are the victims of smears, fake news and alternative facts in blatant disregard of national security even if the victims actively promote smears, fake news, alternative facts and, to put it bluntly, downright, bare faced, whopping great lies. (more…)

January 24, 2017

Maggie May

I laughed at all of your jokes

I laughed at all of your jokes

Any comparison between British Prime Ministers must surely be based on integrity, competence and policy outcomes and not on gender or the presence of a womb. Few political commentators would helpfully compare Gordon Brown and David Cameron by stating that they are both male and that at least one of them owns a pair of testicles. A simple observer with a somewhat archaic view of women might conclude that both Margaret Thatcher and Theresa May are, or were, female rather than the more obvious comparison that they share harmful ideology. The obvious difference, apart from signs of life, is that one was out of her mind and the other is out of her depth. (more…)

January 20, 2017

Constant sorrow

Filed under: History,Media,Music,Politics,Rights,World — theplastichippo @ 3:54 am
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its-gonna-be-great
In an infinite, expanding and increasingly bizarre universe where strangeness and what once passed for normality have become blurred, the prospect of George Clooney forming a ZZ Top tribute band to perform at the inauguration of a racist con man as the President of the United States would, astonishingly, not be considered as much of a surprise.

The days when presidential indiscretions were quietly ignored are long gone and the American people have decided, with a little helpful persuasion from a former KGB gangster who is now a presidential gangster, that a shameless sexual predator who uses his fame to molest women is the right man for the job. It would seem that the cruel mockery of a journalist with disabilities is acceptable and that a deeply disturbing attitude towards his own daughter is, in some way, normal and that overt racism encouraging hatred is somehow appropriate in the second decade of the 21st century. When a president elect claims that he will be the greatest president ever created by God and gives responsibility for a massive arsenal of lethal weaponry to a character who likes to be known as “mad dog” and when that same president elect is happy to be endorsed by the KKK, then it might be time to start stocking up tinned foods, candles and toilet paper. (more…)

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