The Plastic Hippo

August 23, 2016

Medalling with worlds

Filed under: History,Media,Sport,World — theplastichippo @ 3:10 am
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1936 Olympics medal

For a global sporting event to be considered successful, it must be preceded by dire predictions of unfinished facilities, dangerous infrastructure, drug scandals, blatant corruption and civil unrest. The Games of the XXXI Olympiad delivered on all those requirements and surpassed previous Olympiads by throwing in the threat of a particularly nasty tropical disease. The first half of Rio 2016 will be remembered as the games that had everything. (more…)

August 7, 2016

Wanted: distinguished chairperson

Filed under: Law,Politics,Rights,Society — theplastichippo @ 1:05 am
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Goddard-letter-040816
With a new Prime Minister, a new Home Secretary and a new if familiar front bench, it is reassuring to know that transparency, truth and justice remain at the heart of the British government. The inexplicable loss of three distinguished chairpersons resigning from the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse appears to be a devastating if coincidental run of bad luck for a government committed to protecting children from perverts. However, to lose two distinguished chairpersons may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose three looks like carelessness. (more…)

August 3, 2016

Honours among theives

mutley-21
It is probably just a simple oversight or a minor administrative error or an honest to goodness human mistake but after days and days of waiting for the postman to arrive with confirmation, it seems than my name does not appear on David Cameron`s resignation honours list conveniently leaked to a Murdoch newspaper.

The fact that I am eminently qualified to be ennobled and thus elevated above the hoi polloi makes the omission even more inexplicable. I tirelessly supported the “Remain” campaign by bunging a load of cash at it. I instructed my newspaper editors to inform the public that my opinion is the only infallible truth and I defended democracy by bunging a load of cash to the political party that best serves my interests. I opened a Free School and used the funding to pay off the mortgages on my property portfolio and placed impoverish children in solitary confinement until their scrounging parents paid the lunch bill. I opened a chain of Academies and removed impoverished children and disruptive pupils displaying so-called special needs determined to spoil my reputation as an evangelical philanthropist. (more…)

July 28, 2016

Naked politics

Filed under: Politics,Society,World — theplastichippo @ 1:00 am
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Ballot paper
It has been five weeks since the great European referendum that was expected, regardless of outcome, to change British and European politics forever. Remarkably, after a month and a longish weekend, there seems to be little evidence of any significant change other than the electorate being offered a rare glimpse of the actual workings of politics.

Obviously the tumultuous events of the referendum and its aftermath brought about a change of Prime Minister, a new Chancellor and a redefinition of Britain`s place in the world but a leaderless nation somehow managed to survive for a couple of weeks without a Prime Minister and for a number of years without a credible opposition. With the “Leave” camp expecting defeat and the unlikely alliance of “Remain” supporters confident of victory, the political mask has slipped now that the public has made its decision. The hysterical predictions of ruin and disaster spewing out from both sides during the referendum campaign certainly had an effect on the result with voters narrowly preferring the side who told the smallest lies. (more…)

June 2, 2016

Andalucia

Filed under: Fiction,Politics,World — theplastichippo @ 1:59 am
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Generalissimo

Generalissimo

Muchachas y los amigos de España; the great kingdom of Spain faces an unprecedented existential crisis brought about by unregulated immigration actively encouraged by faceless, unelected Eurocrats. Spain is full and we must take back control of our borders. Many hard working Spanish families no longer recognise their own pueblito and Spanish is no longer the most commonly spoken language at the bodega or village fiesta. Clearly, high unemployment, financial deficit, debt and the appearance of Lionel Messi in the Panama Papers accused of tax avoidance are all directly linked to uncontrolled immigration and not anything at all to do with the performance of government.

So, to protect our God-given sovereignty and to regain our inalienable right to deflect attention from inadequacy by blaming a group of people who just happen to be foreign, we will introduce an Andalucian points based immigration system. (more…)

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