Picasso sketch 1964
O for a Muse of fire, that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention to describe just how bloody wonderful it is to be an Englishman living in these joyous times.
Firstly we celebrated 90 glorious years of divine monarchy dedicating a lifetime of hollow crown duty by waving a lot and having to endure the permanent smell of fresh paint. Then we commemorated our holy English values as epitomised by our noble patron Saint George. As with most versions of English history, George`s origins and ethnicity are a little vague. He might have been born in Cappadocia which would make him a Turk or he might have been born in the Roman province of Syria Palaestina which roughly translates as either Syria or Palestine. What is certain is that he was not born within the concrete O of the M25, he did not speak English and his dragon slaying activities took place far away from Albion in a place called Beirut. Crying God for Harry, England and Agios Georgios might make you sound… well… a bit foreign. (more…)
If we accept the old Spanish proverb that suggests a wise man is capable of changing his mind but a fool never will, I hereby tender my wisdom credentials by conceding that for a number of years I have been completely wrong about Iain Duncan Smith.
This damascene moment of realisation coincides with other glaring errors now mercifully reversed and corrected. I can only offer heartfelt apologies for years of snide invective, defamation, grubby insults and ignorant left-wing dogma based on the politics of envy. (more…)
Responding to a legitimate if carefully planted parliamentary question regarding war crimes being committed in Syria, Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond has launched a blistering attack on the brave men and women of the US Air Force and the RAF. He said:
“Well I think my honourable friend reminds us of an important fact. Somebody goes in to another country, starts bombing civilian populations, destroying hospitals and schools. (more…)
Even going as far back as the Book of Genesis, it is still pretty obvious that you can choose your friends but you can`t choose your relatives. Being born into what can only be described as an “unusual” family, the story of Cain and Abel is not a story that ends well. A certain degree of sibling rivalry is inevitable in any family group regardless of incestuous necessity but Cain managing to invent murder, treachery and a curse on the entire human race across three major religions is impressive to say the least. According to the established patriarchy, this should not come as a surprise given the sort of woman his mother was. (more…)
It`s not clever, it`s not witty or even vaguely endearing and it`s certainly not as important or as significant as Bradele sweeping the board at the It Brawards. Simply prefacing the word “exit” with the letters b and r is lazy, trivial and a crime against both the English language and common decency. Only a complete brarsehole would invent a meaningless compound word to describe the most profound political decision facing this nation. (more…)