The Plastic Hippo

January 26, 2015

Dead men tell no tales

Filed under: Faith,Literature,Media,Politics,Rights,World — theplastichippo @ 1:00 am
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Kings of Leon

Kings of Leon

”The grave`s a fine and private place,
But none, I think, do there embrace.”
Andrew Marvell – To His Coy Mistress

So, farewell then Abdullah bin Abdulaziz Al Saud, King of Saudi Arabia and Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques. Time`s winged chariot has crossed the deserts of vast eternity and finally arrived in Riyadh. The touching tributes and moving obituaries delivered by state media described him as a moderniser, a reformer, a moderate, a humanitarian and a champion of women`s rights. The state media in this case was the BBC and the Union Flag flew at half mast over the Palace of Westminster as a mark of respect to honour the life and cheque book of this great man. (more…)

January 14, 2015

Hypocrite lecteur!

Filed under: Faith,History,Literature,Politics,World — theplastichippo @ 5:00 am
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Via En Direct

Via En Direct

With hypocrisy now being delivered with the frequency of an atomic clock ticking out the seconds, there is no longer any need to rummage in dustbins looking for double standards. Breathtaking pretence and studied insincerity are spewing from the mouths of hypocrites like so many bullets from an automatic assault rifle.

The dreadful, horrific events in Paris during the last week have produced a reaction of disgust, solidarity and defiance from human beings who hold humanity as being more precious than barbarism. One and a half million people took to the streets of Paris to proclaim their belief in democracy and free speech; between 40 and 50 others gathered for a photo opportunity. (more…)

October 6, 2014

Lord of the flies

Via standard.co.uk

Via standard.co.uk

It is as if the entire coalition cabinet has been flying on an aircraft which has suffered an unfortunate but non-fatal crash on some deserted island far away from civilisation and the controlling influence of grown-ups.

Imagine an enclosed society where marooned public schoolboys fight to the death over the death of a government. In 1954, William Golding did. He could never have imagined that his inspired allegory would become reality in, of all places, the Palace of Westminster. We have been treated to some fairly colossal howlers during the 2014 party conference season. When given their go at holding the conch, Ed Miliband forgot to mention the deficit, David Cameron told a massive lie about the deficit and Nick Clegg tried to claim credit for the massive lie about the deficit. With all three parties haemorrhaging membership and distain at politics turning into disgust, the descent into savagery is inevitable. If the Scottish independence campaign was characterised by negativity, threats, scare-mongering and insults, the next seven months of hysterical shouting will make the Jerry Springer Show sound like Gardener`s Question Time. (more…)

September 28, 2014

The secret diary of David Cameron aged 47⅞

Filed under: Fiction,Literature,Politics — theplastichippo @ 1:00 am
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Lord Snooty via thecomicartwebsite.com

Lord Snooty via thecomicartwebsite.com

Saturday 27th September 2014

Woke up really early and was so excited because today is the day that I get to start my very own war. It`s really nice being in charge of the Royal Air Force but after I told them that they could, I`m a bit disappointed that they didn`t kill anybody on the first day.

Had breakfast; sugar puffs, boiled egg and soldiers and a glass of milk. When nanny wasn`t looking, I pinched a Hobnob from the biscuit barrel. Result.

Played Minecraft after breakfast. Lynton came storming in shouting some very rude words about being reckless. I could tell he was upset because he was shouting louder than usual and the swear-words were ruder as well. I have absolutely no idea what he was on about but he must be right because he is so clever and he is paid so much money. He left and I think he said that he was going to ring Michael Gove or he might have said that was going to wring Michael Gove`s neck. (more…)

September 18, 2014

This is the day

Filed under: Literature,Politics,Society,World — theplastichippo @ 11:00 pm
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imagesVHG6NOAK

The polling places have closed, the ballots have been cast and the votes are being counted. Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day but I have a bottle of Lagavulin, a huge bag of Twiglets and the day off tomorrow. By breakfast time, both the Union and I are likely to be wasted.

Shakespeare knew a thing or two about politics and statehood but even his fertile imagination could not have conjured up such an incredible plot. If MacDuff were to ask “stands Scotland where it did?” the answer would be “no”, or possibly “yes”. For the first time, Scotland`s fate has been decided by the pencil rather than the sword and the biggest loser regardless of the vote will be David Cameron. (more…)

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