The Plastic Hippo

October 22, 2016


nooseAt first glance, the story of an obscure Tory councillor creating an online petition demanding that anyone who still supports membership of the European Union be charged with treason smacks of a crude attempt at humour and is obviously a very weak joke. A second glance would confirm the hoax as the petition is in the name of a councillor Christian Holliday who represents the Burpham ward in the delightful town of Guildford. If a councillor Cruella de Winterval representing nearby Effingham had demanded the re-introduction of thumbscrews and the rack into the criminal justice system, the joke would not have been more obvious. However, a third glance reveals the treason petition story to be true and a bizarre invention called Christian Holliday actually exists and wishes to “amend the Treason Felony Act to make supporting UK membership of the EU a crime.”

It seems that the petition has been taken down and a Guildford councillor has been suspended by the local Tory party. No doubt the councillor will complain of censorship, an attack on free speech and a liberal elite conspiring to bring about the end of democracy but will then slide deservedly back into obscurity where he will not cause too much damage. That a councillor, let alone a Tory councillor, should prove to be a complete and utter idiot is not unexpected news but, as a symptom of the collective emotional breakdown currently debilitating the nation, the thought that this kind of nonsense could ever be considered as even remotely appropriate is much more troublesome. (more…)

October 20, 2016

Warp and weft

Self harm

Self harm

In those far-off heady days during the European referendum campaign, some of us hoped that the deranged musings of idiots, borderline fascists, actual racists, scaremongers and various prophets of doom would end once the British people had made their historic decision. The preposterous and obviously false claims and counter-claims from both sides cheapened the debate to the state of pointless and partisan bickering and made for a contest between an unbelievably duplicitous Remain campaign and an unbelievably duplicitous Leave campaign. Sadly, the return to common sense and the status quo of generally harmless whopping great lies has, to evoke the civil rights credentials of Prime Minister Theresa May, been a long time coming. Instead, the ravings of some very strange people which were once instantly dismissed as just a part of the comedic warp and weft of society are now being accepted as potentially valid, possibly true and even something less than a complete insult to basic humanity. (more…)

October 18, 2016


Filed under: Education,Faith,Media,Politics,Rights,World — theplastichippo @ 1:59 am
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As the sublimely wonderful Stevie Wonder so eloquently pointed out, if you believe in things that you don`t understand; you suffer – superstition ain`t the way. It is a distinct possibility that what separates religion from superstition is the comparative definition of faith and idiocy but when politics, the economy and policies ranging from health, education and immigration seem to be pulled from magic hats by black cats and chimney sweeps, tarot readings and the most transparent of crystal balls now pass for governance.

The French, during what became known as la belle époque between the Franco Prussian War and the First World War, invented a delightful compromise between religion and superstition by creating a new and lucrative career. Realising that 13 sitting down to dinner would result in terrible bad luck because that was the number taking part in the last supper, professional dinner party guests could be employed to make up the 14. Known as “Quatorzièmes”, these witty raconteurs could expect free food and drink in exchange for some outrageous banter the more scandalous and questionable the better. Inadvertently, the early “Quatorzièmes” paved the way for 21st century politicians and professional controversialist to make money and expect free food and drink by spreading outrageous, scandalous and questionable banter. (more…)

October 10, 2016

Make `em laugh



To openly gloat over the misfortunes of others, even if they happen to be the most unpleasant, hate-filled, narcissistic attention seekers to ever pollute political debate, is not big and not clever. However, when dubious politicians display their “man of the people” credentials by softening the mood with some whacky stunt, the nation and indeed the world should applaud them for giving us all a right old laugh.

So, after adopting a serious face to sincerely hope that UKIP MEP Steven Woolf makes a full recovery, we should give him a heartfelt slap on the back for being part of the funniest public punch-up since Monty Python`s fish slapping dance. We should also thank Boris Johnson for giving us an image of him gagged and bound to a chair in a locked basement somewhere in the vicinity of Whitehall to prevent him from cracking anymore jokes. Gratitude is also owed to Nigel Farage, who, after having his only policy nicked from under his nose, continues to amuse as his party falls apart amid handbag fights. But at top of the tree, lobbing comedy faecal nuggets with definitely not gay abandon sits one Donald Trump. (more…)

October 2, 2016

Strong message here


Following the shambolic pantomime describing itself as the Labour Party Conference in Liverpool, it has never been more obvious to any member of the voting public with half a brain that Jeremy Corbyn is completely unelectable. We know this to be fact because our independent media and the Conservative Party and the BBC and about 170 Labour MPs tell us so. They also tell us that he is scruffy, unpatriotic, devious, a liar, a hypocrite, a champagne socialist, a terrorist sympathiser, a cunning mastermind, stupid, evil, disloyal, dogmatic, a danger to national security and would probably urinate on a passing Corgi owned by Her Majesty the Queen.

Obviously, the five right-wing billionaires who own the printed press, the small group of anonymous Tory strategists running the country, the state broadcaster flirting dangerously close to charter compliance and about 170 Labour MPs worried about future employment wish Jeremy Corbyn to be unelectable and are morbidly familiar with having their wishes come true. (more…)

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