The Plastic Hippo

October 8, 2015

Hitting the roof

Via Carlisle newsandstar

Via Carlisle newsandstar

Only a complete idiot would take advice from an addled George Osborne so instead of fixing the roof when the sun was shining, we arranged for the roofer to call on the day the October monsoon emptied itself all over the house. Rather like George Osborne, the insignificant drip was transformed into a long streak of what suspiciously resembled urine coming through the attic rafters.

The appointed hour came and went but the roofer did not. A message was left on his answer machine and the hiatus allowed the TV to be fired up to watch the latest episode of one of the funniest series of programmes ever broadcast. (more…)

October 5, 2015

So much to answer for

Nice but dim

Nice but dim

You might think that having experienced the Peterloo massacre, the Christmas blitz of 1940; various visitations from the Provisional IRA and having to endure the presence of the Gallagher brothers and Morrissey, Manchester and its people have probably suffered enough. Sadly, the cradle of the Suffragette movement and the host in 1868 of the first Trades Union Congress now once again “welcomes” the Conservative Party Conference presumably through gritted teeth. (more…)

September 30, 2015

Fresher`s week

Filed under: Education,Faith,Media,Politics — theplastichippo @ 3:00 am
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Pokemon zodiac via Arkeis

Pokemon zodiac via Arkeis

On long road journeys, only two rules apply when driving along in the family car with the squeaking breaks. Firstly, anyone who asks “are we there yet?” is immediately ejected and made to walk and secondly; the driver decides on the CD or radio station. Thus, on the long Saturday morning drive to deliver the Neanderthal that formerly occupied an upstairs room to his seat of tertiary learning; the airways were given over to Richard Coles and Saturday Live courtesy of BBC Radio 4. The people not driving retreated to their personal audio devices only noticeable during the reassuring moment of silence before the news when the sibilant hissing was loud enough to cause a olive grove full of cicadas to drop down dead from the trees. (more…)

September 21, 2015

Very British ad hominem

Playing the man

Playing the man

Within the occult dark arts coven of British politics, it is evidentially clear that former MP and novelist Chris Mullin is a witch and should be immediately conveyed to the nearest village pond to be dunked in order to ascertain if he floats or sinks. In the early years of the first Thatcher government, the then Labour MP for Sunderland South and shameless supporter of the late Tony Benn concocted a fanciful yet amusing piece of fiction entitled “A Very British Coup”. The plot of this far-fetched political fantasy involves a left-wing working class Labour MP by the name of Harry Perkins unexpectedly becoming a British Prime Minister. (more…)

August 27, 2015


Filed under: Media,Society,World — theplastichippo @ 2:15 am
Tags: , , ,

It is sickening to realise that we have evolved into a species that finds it acceptable to exploit violent death for profit. Newspaper proprietors and television news executives are happy to display the final moment of a taken life to boost circulation and viewing figures and in so doing, make money. Rather than expressing disgust, we buy the papers and watch the broadcasts. It seems that we are sitting in a global coliseum being entertained by wild animals tearing slaves apart proving that Darwin might need to fine-tune his theory of evolution. (more…)

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