The Plastic Hippo

May 19, 2017

Pen pals

Filed under: Politics,Society — theplastichippo @ 4:01 am
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B.O.L.T.O.P.

In an age of brutally instant electronic communication, how pleasant and delightful it is to receive an actual letter through the post that is not a final demand, court summons or an invitation to the home owner or occupier to wave goodbye to varying amounts of money as part of a criminal scheme designed to separate the foolish from hard earned savings. It`s not every day that a real letter arrives and it is even rarer to find that the incoming missive has been signed by the actual Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

It is astonishing to think that a busy Prime Minister in the middle of an election campaign can find the time and make the effort to write to someone as unimportant and as insignificant as me. The Prime Minister has kissed the hand of the Queen, held hands with President Trump, shaken hands with a variety of dictators and has handed out all manner of lucrative favours to some very wealthy and therefore more important people than me, myself and I. With her own fair hand, she has signed a heartfelt epistle worthy of Saint Paul which has addressed me and only me.

In the days before correspondence became communication, it was considered polite to reply to letters…so here goes. (more…)

May 14, 2017

Always let your conscience be your guide

No strings

Perhaps he has been lured away by two scurrilous villains known as Honest Liam the Fox and Gideon the Evening Standard Cat to join Stromboli`s evil puppet show or he has been transported to so-called Pleasure Island where foolish boys unable to tell the truth are transformed into donkeys and sold into slavery or, given his rather tenuous relationship with veracity, perhaps he has been swallowed up by a giant whale answering to the name Monstro. Whatever excuse for absence is offered, the big question is where the bloody hell is Jeremy Hunt. (more…)

May 10, 2017

Rubbish

Sally Cogley image via Sally Cogley

As the BBC announces details of its proposed election coverage, critics of the corporation are again accusing the state broadcaster of political bias due to its refusal to acknowledge Ms Sally Cogley of Galston, East Ayrshire as the only credible and legitimate loyal opposition. Having already decided the outcome of the general election taking place on June 8th, senior editors and correspondents at BBC News and Current Affairs are being criticised for ignoring a new mould-breaking force in UK politics and not allowing a platform for the voice of the people, Ms Sally Cogley of Galston, East Ayrshire. (more…)

May 7, 2017

Stockton-on-Tees syndrome

Patty Hearst

After being forcibly abducted, illegally deprived of liberty, brutalised and threatened with violence and death, it is beyond belief that a hostage would regard a hostage-taker with anything other than complete contempt and utter loathing.

However, since the 1970s, the kidnapping of a wealthy heiress and a six day armed siege at the Kreditbanken in Norrmalmstorg Square in the centre of the Swedish capital allowed psychologists to invent a brand new syndrome to describe how hostages bond with their captors as a strategy for survival and what happens when poor little girls begin to get their kicks by holding up banks with a machine gun. Sadly, like most monthly flavours in questionable psychology, this syndrome rapidly became tasteless when it was used to explain away domestic violence and child abuse in a world where blaming the victims for the crimes committed against them is somehow fashionable as well as being profoundly unfathomable.

It is far too simplistic to dismiss local authority and mayoral elections as meaningless or irrelevant or to point to woefully low turnouts. Crowing about victories in Manchester, Liverpool or the West Midlands when the turnouts are between 26 and 29 per cent is, however, not an indication of the imminent coronation of Theresa May. What is astonishing is that of the 21 per cent who voted in Tees Valley, the majority of people in Darlington, Hartlepool, Middlesbrough, Stockton-on-Tees and Redcar formerly known for its steel works before being abandoned by a Conservative government voted for a Conservative metropolitan mayor. In the east end of Glasgow and across the industrial belt of the Scottish central lowlands, Conservative councillors were elected. (more…)

May 4, 2017

Breakfast, dinner and tea

Filed under: Politics,Society,World — theplastichippo @ 2:15 am
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Image via AP AFP

For all their blindingly obvious failings, it is still possible to feel some sympathy for arrogant career politicians forced out onto the streets and into radio and television studios to explain themselves to an unworthy and inferior electorate.

After a hard day out on the campaign stump shaking babies, kissing hands, making up facts and mangling the meaning of the words that were once contained within a fairly definitive English vocabulary, we should all find some compassion in our hearts for the occasional brain freeze, “mis-spoken” great big statistical whopper, alleged malicious misinterpretation, alleged deliberate distortion and alleged colossal lie taken out of context. Our leaders and potential leaders need to be forgiven for confusing a full English British Exit from the European Union with a continental British Exit from the European Union. With all the boiled eggs in one basket, it is difficult to define what is soft and what is hard. (more…)

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